It Never Really Goes Away...

listening to: silence.
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Have you ever had quite the absolute best and worst day of your life all rolled up into one day?

Well all I have to say... is that feelings came rushing back like the damn in Kentucky that's about to burst and flood me out of Nashville... feelings I never wanted to return. Ones that I have kept burried and controlled since I was 14 years old. Here I am... almost 11 years later in just under a month... and they return.

Thank you to the people who cared enough to help me through it tonight without ever knowing it. To these people.. you are a God send and you should know it...

Dylan - you are my hero! I would be a mess without you tonight. :) I owe you more than you'll ever know.

Cheryl - thanks for the sweet words of confidence. :)

Pearson - thanks for talking to me. Just that thought was more than a blessing. I've missed our friendship emmensley. :)

Martha - thanks for listening when you didn't have to. :)

Kevin - for caring enough to just let me be and never havng to say a word. :)

Lu and the guys - you're always there when I need you. all I had to do was turn up the volume a little.

Steve - for just letting me vent when I needed to

and of course no list would be complete without...

Mom - Thank you for letting me cry. Telling me you have faith in me when I already knew it - I just needed to hear it. For never giving up on me. For bringing up Doris Day cause you know how much I adore her. For grabbing my hand when I was reaching for help. And for being awake and willing to listen to no mater what I had to say.

God - Thank you, Father. for being there when I need you most. For knowing what is on the inside trying to chew it's way out. For never giving up on me. For the miracles of the past. For saving my life. For the miracles yet to come. For never saying "you've had enough chances. haven't you learned yet?" For loving me... even when I feel as I do tonight.

"YOU are home to me..."

"Ever After You" by: Gabe Dixon Band
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Ok so I am getting more and more anxious. I am going home for my birthday and I can't wait!!! This is going to be the BEST birthday EVER!

I will accept nothing less!

My track record hasn't been the best in the past and I am "breaking the spell"

I don't want any gifts for my birthday. I just want to spend it with my best friends and my family. And that my friends is EXACTLY what I am getting!

*stops and starts singing "Memory" by: Sugarcult*

Sorry about that. I just love that song. ANYWAY!... hmm... *taps fingers on desk*... yeah I got nothing I'm just SUPER geeked about seeing my way hot momma, my far more beautiful than I big sisters, my extremely beautiful neices, my super hot best friends... and... Corey... hahaha Sorry Corey all the rest are girls. hahaha

*winks and grrrs at Corey then dies laughing*

Love y'all! Miss y'all! See y'all soon!
- Stacey -

There's a first for everything...

listening to: "Goodbye My Lover" by: James Blunt
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Guess what I did today. I got a massage. That's right! I had my first actual massage today. I know I've had back rubs but this was from a trained pro and it was FREE!! Work provided it. I felt so cool cause they were giving them free at work across the hall from my office in the break room and so the girls around me told me I needed one. So I did. And they were about to go on break so while the guy massaged my head and my hands the girl massaged my back.

TEE HEE!!! No one else got that treatment. It was great.

I have now officially come to terms with the fact that any man that gives me a hand massage is the man I'm going to marry!!!! That was the greatest part of it! I could have fallen asleep right there when he started doing that.

WAIT!!

I lied.

I have had a hand massage once before... and the guy was SUPER hot... but he is married now. We have moved on OBVIOUSLY. Oh well. I forgot how much I loved that... but yeah Mr. married DID put me to sleep. I remember that much!

and then we FROZE OUR BUTTS OFF!!!!

oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN 1 HR AND 10 MIN LESLIE AND ALYSE!!! LOVE YOU!!!

-k- bye
-Stacey Ree-