I'm Engaged!!!!!!

watching: whatever this show is that Nick is watching.

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So most of you (all 3 of you that read this lol) know by now that Nick and I got engaged December 22, 2009. Now the fun begins... planning our wedding. I have to admit. I'm nervous. I helped to plan both of my sister's weddings but I was pretty young and don't know much about it.

Talking to Nick this morning I started thinking that once we pick a place (at least narrowing it down to one state would be nice), time of year (or better yet exact date), & colors then everything thing else should fall into place.

We spent Christmas this year with my family in Michigan and my eldest sister, Jennifer gave me the movie "Julie & Julia" as part of my gift. I started to watch it this morning and it gave me the idea to use my blog as updates for the wedding. So I can get out my frustrations, concerns and ideas without taking them out on Nick.

I would also like YOUR help since I'm no good at this... at least that I know of. I mean I've never gotten married before. LOL So any advice you may give, I would GREATLY appreciate.

anyway... this is all I have planned so far....

Groom... check

Ring... check

Maid Of Honor... kinda check

Bridesmaids... check, check and check

Junior Bridesmaid... check

Ring Bearer... check

Flower girl... check

they are as follows:

Maid of Honor - Leslie Redman (my cousin/best friend)... IF she's in the country that is :/

Bridesmaids... Jennifer Palinski (my sister)

Anisa Gunderson (my sister)

Chrystal Masiarak (nick's sister)

Junior bridesmaid... Kendra Gunderson (my niece)

Ring bearer... Emmalee Gunderson (my niece)

Flower girl... Joslynn Gunderson (my niece)

... and that's all so far...

I'm going to buy a few magazines and books hopefully today or tomorrow before work...

wish me luck! lol

-Stacey Ree-

All is well...

watching: Underworld Evolutions. :D

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so it only took 15 months but I have finally met Nick's sister, Chrsytal. Poor girl spent most of the weekend sick. She's a newly expectant mom and it's taking a lot out of her. But luckily she's happy about being a mommy soon. She and her husband, Luke, are going to be great parents. I've only known them for a few days and I can already

tell. :)

On another note... I'm officially living back in Nashville again. I love being closer to Nick. I think we both needed it. We only live about 10 minutes from each other now and it's so much better being able to see each other more often. I've made a few new friends which is nice for when he's gone. Just wish it were easier to balance the 2 and still have time to work enough to pay all my bills. Oh well. All will come in due time... i hope....

that's about it for now. I guess I better get going. I told Nick I'd cook for him from his new recipe book. :)

-Stacey Ree-

it's over...

listening to: my fan being loud...

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Now before i get started... don't get any ideas. Nick and I didn't break up. We're not planning to. And I don't have some crazed fan that's being loud. It's a literal fan that's just loud and I am officially moving. Last day at the station was tonight and I'm packing up my & Nick's cars (along with a U-Haul trailer Nick rented) and moving south. I'M GOING HOME!!!!!!

I'm so excited to be able to be in my own apartment again, be able to see all of my friends that I haven't seen in a long time, Chick-fil-a, and fried pickles!!!!!! Those are the FIRST things on my list!!!! It's gonna be a welcomed journey into the next chapter of the story God has written for me. I just hope I live up to the character He has created. :)

- Stacey -

what am i here for... honestly....

reading: "pretties" by: scott westerfeld

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Tonight I went to watch a movie with my mom & my sister, Jennifer. The movie... Julie & Julia. Based on two true stories. Both about 2 women who just don't quite fit in and how they find themselves and what they're here for through cooking.

It got me thinking. Here I am a radio "on air personality." I have a job that just about everyone when they hear what I do have the initial response of "I always wanted to do that. It sounds like so much fun." and it is... sometimes.

But at times I can't help but feel like I just don't belong.

All my life I've wanted to work in music somehow. Most of it my dreams have been to behind a board making other people's records sounds amazing. But i've come to terms with the fact that when it comes to running a studio console... i stink! :) But my passion for editing hasn't diminished an ounce. In fact I think it's only gotten stronger. I feel this is where I'm meant to be.

But then there's another part of me that still feels like I'm meant to do something else. I love to read. I would LOVE to have a job where I got paid to read. To write. Another passion. But not one that I'm too confident about. I just don't think my writing is as compelling as others.

And then there's "teaching" in a sense. I don't mean in front of a class helping people understand math or science problems. Though I did thoroughly enjoy science in school. I mean helping people to be ok with themselves.

I believe there's a reason God allowed the things in my past to happen. My testimony can reach so many people. I've seen it. I've been approached about speaking for a group. But my stage freight is holding me back from accepting. Yet there is this nagging feeling in my heart that I need to do this. That something I say can help to save someone's life. To help someone overcome something in their life that they deal with in an dark, empty, lonely space of their minds.

I know what it's like to live behind closed doors with so many people so close and to put on a "show" if you will for everyone. Trying to pretend you're exactly who everyone expects you to be. Then going home, locking yourself inside your mind and being who you really are. Not knowing how to show that side of you to anyone.

It's a sad lonely world. One that no one should ever have to go through. But I don't know how to break out of my shell and just "get over" my stage freight. I would say "one step at a time" to myself if i was trying to give myself a pep talk. But everyone knows that things are easier said than done. So I'm going to recruit you. I need you to be my drill sergeant. Hold me to it. Force me to make the steps that i need to. I might save a life with what i have to do. But you... you will save mine.

- Stacey -

*dies laughing*

listening to: myself on the air...
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i just had to share this cause i laughed REALLY hard!!! her reaction AFTER the fact is the best!!!!



- Stacey -

update....

listening to: "Wonder Of It All (Next Year)" by: Monday Morning

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So I realized I haven't updated in a while. In all honesty. I really haven't had much to update about. Nick and I went on a cruise and we're about to celebrate our anniversary... so... yeah... great update. WOOHOO! lol

I'll update later when my life is more interesting lol.

later

-Stacey Ree-

Dreams Are Real....

listening to: "Things Left Unsaid" by: Disciple

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Wow this song couldn't fit any better if I planned it for my post for today.

Last night I woke up with tears streaming down my cheeks, happy feelings, sad feelings, and a whole lot of "what just happened????" feelings. 

I was having a really weird dream... that's not uncommon for me. But then something happened that really "shook" me. 

In the dream there were about 11 of us in this room and locked off from the rest of the world to keep us safe. But one wall was all mirrors. I was talking to someone who was looking at it and admiring themselves when my Grandma appeared in the mirror. 

I thought I was seeing things. But then I remembered some of the "instructions" as we entered the room. That this wasn't a mirror. It was a "window" and people who have passed on would come to the window to help us survive. 

She and I both started crying. She hadn't changed at all. She loved the color purple and was wearing the same style shirt she always wore. Sleeveless, of course. With little pink and purple flowers. I could smell her even. Nothing had changed. She smelled like hard work (yes it really does have a smell!!), yarn & southern food. I loved the way she always smelled. It was always a sort of "home" to me. 

We just stared at each other for a minute until my niece Emmalee came up and asked where she was. I pointed her out and then my sisters, Anisa & Jennifer came to join us. We all started crying again and Anisa told Grandma she looked so pretty. She laughed and said "No I don..." (she looked down at her outfit and smiled continuing) "...yes I do." :D

We all laughed a little. Cause that was so her sense of humor. Then she teared up again and told us "I miss you. You all turned out so beautiful." 

I woke up just then in tears. I didn't know if it was real or not. I've been told that "angels" can come and talk to you in your dreams my whole life. I've been raised to believe this is real. It happened to numerous people in the bible... I mean one spoke to Mary telling her about baby Jesus after all. 

I feel my dreams so much that sometimes I have a hard time deciphering what's real and what isn't. The rest of the dream honestly felt the way it always does. But the part where my Grandma appeared to and talked to us... it fell "spiritual".... like it was real. Like she was really there... really talking to us. 

She passed away when I was 14 years old. I was going through a really hard time back then. And I lived in my own little world. Not letting anyone know exactly how much pain I was in. When she passed away I wasn't sure how I would survive with out her too. I did. But man it's hard to express how much I miss her daily. 

I never got to say good-bye to her. Maybe this was her way of helping me to move on. 12 (almost 13) years is a long time to dwell on something. 

Was it real? Am I just imaging it? Am I crazy? 

 - Stacey Ree -

just for your viewing pleasure....

listening to: "I Can't Stand To Fall" by: Philmont
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-k- bye lol
- Stacey Ree -

RING PHONES RING!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

listening to: Article One "Taken By The Storm"
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ok i just had to share this video....



that is one ANGRY Romanian! She was upset that the phones weren't ringing during a contest... funny that's what happens when the phones are dead on WaYfm too. j/k *dies laughing*



AMEN!!!!

-k- bye

-Stacey Ree-