Waiting On The Doctor...

I have to admit... I'm a geek. I think just about everyone who knows me knows that I'm a geek. I like to read. not so weird. right? Well throw in that I love Science Fiction... yeah... kinda odd for a girl. Oh well. I am who I am.

No I don't think Vampires & Fairies really exist. I know there are people who drink blood and perform "witch craft" but that's they're lifestyle. Is blood the only hope of their survival? No. I don't think pig or snake people really exist. However... I truly can't say the same about aliens. I don't mean illegal immigrants here. I mean outer space... little green men... "take me to your leader"... aliens.

No I'm not crazy.

Think about it for a minute. Has there been any logical proof that they do not exist? No. From an open minded, unbiased, unjudgemental, Christian standpoint who's to say that they don't? If God was a "selfish" God and created us to worship Him... why would He only create one world? He created many races and languages.... yes I know the story behind why we speak different languages so don't try to lecture me here. But how do we know that he didn't create life forms (and I believe the'd still be "in His image") in places we'd never find them. We know other galaxies exist. What if there are other "beings" in those galaxies too?

I've even thought about "Well Jesus saved us from sin. He didn't save those people." What if they didn't need Him? What if sin hasn't happened yet out there? And if it has... maybe He did save them. I don't think the universe can as large as it is for nothing.

So anyway... I was watching one of my favorite shows, Doctor Who, on BBC America today and I can't help but feeling like I've been waiting for The Doctor my whole life. That one person who doesn't mind my geeky side. Who's as much of a geek as I am. Maybe not in the same ways I am but a geek nonetheless.  I don't mean I'm looking for my "soul mate" I already married him and I wouldn't trade him for the world. I just mean a friend, a mate, a compadre someone (besides my husband of course) who I can feel totally true to who I really am without thoughts of them looking at me like I'm crazy... ever!

I love my husbands, best friends and my sisters... but even they look at me like I'm from another planet sometimes. LOL

- Stacey Ree -

Between The Pages

it's no big shocker that i'm not the most well liked person in the world. I've known that for years. But something just occurred to me. Seeing the look on people's faces when they hear that i've read Pride & Prejudice 12 times in my now 29 years is generally followed by some form of "wow you read a lot!" and so therefore just finishing a variation the movie Sense & Sensibility and in a nutshell being stood up by a friend... I started thinking on why I do read as much as I do. I've come to this conclusion...

a book will never let you down, tell you you're ugly, stupid, fat or not good enough.a book will be there when you need a friend, time to get away from reality or even to help you fall asleep. characters don't change each time you re-read a story. and yes the cliche "you can be anyone you want to or go anywhere you want to go." but most of all if you get bored... Or the stor doesnlt quite fit. You can close it and read something else.

tears of a bride...

listening to: myself typing...
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I finally broke down. The stress of planning a wedding primarily alone has finally taken it's toll on me. I cried. hard. a lot. over the past few days. I think what finally gave me that shove over the edge of the cliff was that after a day out with my friend, Micki. I tried on my dress. I had bought an "accessory" for it and wanted to see how it looked. But when I put it on it wouldn't zip up.

every bride's worst nightmare... ok one of the largest... is that her dress won't fit. I took the dress off feeling defeated and hung it back up. then went back into the living room only to be confronted with a V8 commercial where a bride simply drinks a V8 and miraculously her dress zips up all the way. I fell over into a puddle. it wasn't pretty. I couldn't even think about it without crying for a few days. My poor sisters, mom & Nick had to deal with my sobbing for the majority of the time.

Now i will admit it wasn't extremely bad. but i need to loose 5 - 10 lbs in order for it to fit again. I've been wanting to start eating right and working out again. this actually was a blessing in disguise. not the kind i would wish on any bride but a blessing nonetheless. I've been a lot more active and actually trying to eat better instead of just saying i'm going to.

i only hope it works. i'm walking down that isle december 18th. with or without that dress. i just prefer with the dress. that's a major part of what every girl dreams about is the dress. i don't want to miss that of mine.

- Stacey Ree -

3 MONTHS????? PANIC MODE KICKING IN AGAIN!!!

listening to: "Touch A New Day" by: Lena Meyer-Landrut
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has it really been so long since my last post? wow! sorry. :/

I'm so excited and terrified at the same time that in just over 3 months I will be Mrs. Nick West!!!!

We went and got our engagement pics taken and got them back. they turned out AMAZING!!! Also my mom, sisters & Leslie did a great job on my shower... even with my meltdown the night before. I still feel bad over that... and I can't thank them enough!

Our big thing to knock out now is our rehearsal dinner. BUT I think now I should start knocking out 5 things at once. I need to focus on the music, decor & flowers too!

I'm about to dive in head first... and... go...
- Stacey Ree -

dates and updates...

listening to: *has to stop and try to hear what's playing in the other room on the air* "In The Blink Of An Eye" by: MercyMe
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well good news is I've calmed down. I'm not freaking out like I was in the last post... ok not as much. :)

Nick and I pick out the minister, William Guice. he's cool. I was nervous going to meet him the first time. Nick picked him out. I picked out the pastor at our church but he's kinda hard to get a hold of. Nick once again made a good choice though. I'm glad we went with William. He's also doing our premarital counseling which was supposed to start last week but life happened and it ended up being more of a lunch "get together" than a counseling session. But I'm not complaining. It was a good chance to meet his wife who will be sitting in on a few sessions in the future. :)

my sisters, mom & leslie are diligently working on the bridal shower which I'm really excited about. I can't wait to go back and see everyone. Especially my nieces!!! those girls need aunt stacey hugs i know it!!!!! :D not to mention it's gonna be really good to see leslie before she leaves for the first country (leslieredman.theworldrace.org) I know it's really selfish of me... but i don't want her to go. i want her at my wedding standing at my side. :( but it's not like it doesn't kill her that she can't be there. so that makes me feel better... which is selfish too in all honesty.

Anyway... now that we got the minister checked off the list i've been working on our registries again. trying to get them down to the final cut. We're registered at Bed Bath & Beyond and Target and our house is not going to have a certain decor... just colors.. we're decorating in Blue, Green and Brown... any shade... just not pastels if possible... more on the darker side... only not Navy... ok so maybe it's a little more specific that i thought. HAHAHA

well I better get ready to go. my shift is almost over. i'm so glad tomorrow will be back to live shows. wally has been gone the past 2 days so i had to do "best of" shows.
- Stacey Ree -

OH! and as long as i'm posting links... in case you missed it or i didn't post it check out our ceremony photographer Shannon Hairr & engagement photographer Amanda Donaho

bridezilla? me?

Ok so I here's the long and the short of it.... I'm officially in panic mode.

I realized the other day the in less than 6 months I will be a wife. And i'm nowhere near ready! This wedding is going to be a disaster and I really don't want that to happen :'( I don't mean disaster like nick and I aren't meant to be married... More like. I have hardly anything planned! How am I going to plan an entire wedding in less than 6 months?????????

I need a miracle! :'(

Plans are a go!

listening to: "Broken" by: Lifehouse (and no not on purpose . i'm at work)
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ok so yes you read right. I'm at work right now. I'll admit the past 2 months (as of yesterday) haven't been TOO bad. I had company off and on mostly from Nick and my good friends, Jame & Cathy. But I'm excited to be back to work. I'm working at the Way-fm Network now here in Nashville. I've only been here 3 1/2 hours so far... still got 12 1/2 hours to go. lol Yep. My first day back in radio and I'm taking on 16 hours today alone. Luckily I just have to sit here and make sure everything works. lol

ANYWAY... the wedding...

I flew up to Michigan for a fun visit with some of my favorite people. Leslie & Mandy both came to visit me which I LOVED! And the rest of the time was mostly spent on wedding plans with mom, my sisters and my nieces. :)

my dress... check
jen's dress... check
anisa's dress... check
kendra's.... well... EVERYTHING... no surprise here... check
joslynn's dress & basket... check
mom's dress... check
cake... check and might I say Nick and I did a really great job with ideas and flavors!! our cake decorator designed a BEAUTIFUL cake that is gonna fit in with the wedding perfectly!! :D

We're working on centerpieces, flowers, unity candle/sand and the other dresses right now. We have an idea for Emmalee's though so that helps. PLUS Nick and I have an appointment for our catering testing now that I can eat. lol and we're talking to our preferred photographer about a day, time and such about our engagement session. I'm pretty geeked about that to be honest! I don't usually like to be IN the pictures but Amanda is PHENOMENAL!!! ok well it's about time to check transmitters. so I'm gonna rocket.

till more is planned...
- Stacey Ree -

ps... don't ask what i want for my birthday PLEASE! I have people asking and not accepting "nothing" cause I have no ideas cause I really don't want anything!

oh just you wait!! it gets better!

watching: Well I'm not watching it. I'm typing this. But Nick is watching Jimmy Kimmel...

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So update time! Nick and I are looking at cakes. Made an appointment for a tasting and everything. Now once these bars come off of my jaw we can go to it and then finish our catering menu too.

My friend, Cathy and I have been avidly looking for the flowers my bouquet. It's not going well. It's better than it was when I was going at it alone. But I pick this flower and we pair it with that one and then I switch the colors so I want this one in red and that one in white instead of the other way around and then I want a different flower totally.

confused yet? Me too! :)

Oh well no one ever said being a bride was an easy thing. hahaha

- Stacey Ree -

food i can't eat. fail.

listening to: "Puzzle Of My Heart" by: Westlife

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So as you probably know by now I was in a car accident in mid February. Luckily it wasn't as bad as it could've been. I fractured my right knee cap in 3 places (we found that out today.. well not the fractured part... just how many places). I didn't know that was possible. But I'm good at learning stuff like that. lol I also fractured the left side of my jaw. The friday after the accident I had to have my jaw wired shut which most people think stops me from talking. WRONG. God gave me a gift and I will use it. I mean I get paid to talk and everything. lol I can't talk MUCH though. It hurts if I talk too much so i try not to. Doesn't always work though. Oops!

With that said. Nick and I have picked a caterer. In fact he went to go do a tasting with them which I had to pretty much push him into. I didn't wanna make anyone attending our wedding eat something that we don't even like. How fair is that? So he asked me if I would be mad and I finally made him realize I really wanted him to. But it didn't happen. He went but he and the caterer (Two Fat Men Catering http://twofatmencatering.com) decided to hold off on the tasting until I'm better and can actually eat something instead of just drinking.

I can't WAIT to eat a baked potato! Tony's (my favorite restaurant in the world) fried mushrooms, Jonathan's bbq chicken pizza & nick's hamburgers are pretty high on that list too. I've just been craving a baked potato for a long time. Poor Nick has had to deal with literal tears over it. lol

ok now i'm hungry again. sigh.

-Stacey Ree-

FOOD!!!

listening to: Running Man by: Hanson

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just a quick note to say that I'm researching caterers and it's making me really hungry!!!!

*sigh*

- Stacey Ree -

Ghosts & Weddings...

listening to: "Pray" by: Dierks Bentley

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Ok so his blog is a wedding update but more so as a revelation of sorts.... read on and you may understand.

Last night I spoke with an old friend i haven't spoken to in years. Sadly the way the friendship ended wasn't entirely on the best of terms. So after years of regret on both sides, we cleared the air. :) his obviously makes me extremely happy since i was convinced they wouldn't be happy that i was sorry for being such a brat. we all know how much i can act like one! lol but all in all after i got over the initial shock of it all i feel today is gonna be a good day. :D

on that note...

Nick and i have officially found a wedding venue. It's a 100 year old wool mill here in Tennessee. I went to look at it only to humor Nick and was of course cranky the whole time... until we looked at it. :) It got even better once i heard the price and found out what we go for it. Then i was a VERY happy Stacey. We looked at one more place the next day and that very next morning Nick went and put a deposit on it. So it's officially ours December 18, 2010! :D

Our wedding party has also been entirely picked now... mine is still the same but the guys have all been asked and accepted so i can now say that Nick will "not have a best man" just 4 groomsmen to share the best man duties. He chose..

Anthony Morgan - Nick's friend

Jeff Culmer - Nick's friend

Luke Masiarak - Nick's brother-in-law

Brian Jenkins - Nick's friend

so this ought to be interesting... if you knew them you'd understand why i say that. lol

I think that's about it for now. Till next time....

-Stacey Ree-

At A Wedding Stand Still *sigh*

Watching: Rachel Ray

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So went to the bridal expo here in town the other afternoon with my friend Cathy. I have to say I thought the vendors were gonna be a lot more pushy that most of them were. Not to mention i thought it was going to be a lot bigger and a lot more packed than it was. But we decided to go a little later so that we the "bridezillas" that had to be there when the doors opened would hopefully be gone. I'm pretty sure it was a smart idea cause there weren't many that I saw.

Well one good thing that came out of all of the mounds of cake we ate is that it looks like Nick and I won a short honeymoon! It's not where Nick was eyeing but hey free is always good. But we have to do like an hour of eating kinda thing tonight so we'll see if it's real or not.

We've looked at a few places for the wedding/reception but nothing so far is like "WE HAVE TO HAVE IT HERE!" so we're gonna go look at another place hopefully tomorrow and maybe get settled on one soon. So needless to say that we can't really plan a whole lot more right now since we don't have a venue. oh well. one thing at a time.

Well on a good note I'm gonna be an aunt... kinda.. Anisa & Chrystal are both having a baby as you already... BUT I'm finally getting a Nephew! Chrystal is having a little boy! I'm so excited! I've got the niece scene down. Not that i wouldn't mind another one. I'm a pro at it now. But I wanna be able to spoil at least one boy since I spoil the girls whenever i can. lol

ok time to get ready for work. :D

-Stacey Ree-

ps... "jerk".... who are you?????????

FINALLY! A DATE!!!

watching: dirty jobs... kinda... it's on tv but not paying attention...

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So it's official! Last night Nick and I finally settled on a date!

As of December 18, 2010 I will be a married woman!!!!

So we got almost an entire year to go but planning this thing will make it fly... hopefully.

Also a few things have changed... Leslie sadly will not be my maid of honor... She will be on a 11 month long mission in 11 different countries. Please pray for her and once I get the link I will post it here to hopefully help her get her funding under control.

So needless to say I had to ask someone else to be my maid of honor and my eldest sister has graciously accepted the offer. :) I have to admit I was a little nervous that my other sister, Anisa would've been hurt. But she was pretty geeked which just made me realize it was a smart move.

We've gotten a check list book and such to get the planning underway and have already started filling it with some great ideas both by myself AND Nick. I love how he WANTS to help plan the big day! Not to mention he's got AMAZING ideas! I'm one VERY blessed/lucky girl!!!!!

Right now we're checking out photographers and trying to see if we can get the church we like for that day. And we're trying to get the exact shades of colors we like. We're pretty sure we want to get married here in Nashvegas. But we have to keep in mind that both my sister, Anisa and Nick's sister, Chrystal, who are both expecting will be having a small baby each to watch over. That's an added bonus of marrying Nick... I get a new baby niece or nephew as well. :D

It's all about baby steps (tee hee) I guess. :)

- Stacey Ree -

I'm Engaged!!!!!!

watching: whatever this show is that Nick is watching.

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So most of you (all 3 of you that read this lol) know by now that Nick and I got engaged December 22, 2009. Now the fun begins... planning our wedding. I have to admit. I'm nervous. I helped to plan both of my sister's weddings but I was pretty young and don't know much about it.

Talking to Nick this morning I started thinking that once we pick a place (at least narrowing it down to one state would be nice), time of year (or better yet exact date), & colors then everything thing else should fall into place.

We spent Christmas this year with my family in Michigan and my eldest sister, Jennifer gave me the movie "Julie & Julia" as part of my gift. I started to watch it this morning and it gave me the idea to use my blog as updates for the wedding. So I can get out my frustrations, concerns and ideas without taking them out on Nick.

I would also like YOUR help since I'm no good at this... at least that I know of. I mean I've never gotten married before. LOL So any advice you may give, I would GREATLY appreciate.

anyway... this is all I have planned so far....

Groom... check

Ring... check

Maid Of Honor... kinda check

Bridesmaids... check, check and check

Junior Bridesmaid... check

Ring Bearer... check

Flower girl... check

they are as follows:

Maid of Honor - Leslie Redman (my cousin/best friend)... IF she's in the country that is :/

Bridesmaids... Jennifer Palinski (my sister)

Anisa Gunderson (my sister)

Chrystal Masiarak (nick's sister)

Junior bridesmaid... Kendra Gunderson (my niece)

Ring bearer... Emmalee Gunderson (my niece)

Flower girl... Joslynn Gunderson (my niece)

... and that's all so far...

I'm going to buy a few magazines and books hopefully today or tomorrow before work...

wish me luck! lol

-Stacey Ree-

All is well...

watching: Underworld Evolutions. :D

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so it only took 15 months but I have finally met Nick's sister, Chrsytal. Poor girl spent most of the weekend sick. She's a newly expectant mom and it's taking a lot out of her. But luckily she's happy about being a mommy soon. She and her husband, Luke, are going to be great parents. I've only known them for a few days and I can already

tell. :)

On another note... I'm officially living back in Nashville again. I love being closer to Nick. I think we both needed it. We only live about 10 minutes from each other now and it's so much better being able to see each other more often. I've made a few new friends which is nice for when he's gone. Just wish it were easier to balance the 2 and still have time to work enough to pay all my bills. Oh well. All will come in due time... i hope....

that's about it for now. I guess I better get going. I told Nick I'd cook for him from his new recipe book. :)

-Stacey Ree-

it's over...

listening to: my fan being loud...

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Now before i get started... don't get any ideas. Nick and I didn't break up. We're not planning to. And I don't have some crazed fan that's being loud. It's a literal fan that's just loud and I am officially moving. Last day at the station was tonight and I'm packing up my & Nick's cars (along with a U-Haul trailer Nick rented) and moving south. I'M GOING HOME!!!!!!

I'm so excited to be able to be in my own apartment again, be able to see all of my friends that I haven't seen in a long time, Chick-fil-a, and fried pickles!!!!!! Those are the FIRST things on my list!!!! It's gonna be a welcomed journey into the next chapter of the story God has written for me. I just hope I live up to the character He has created. :)

- Stacey -

what am i here for... honestly....

reading: "pretties" by: scott westerfeld

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Tonight I went to watch a movie with my mom & my sister, Jennifer. The movie... Julie & Julia. Based on two true stories. Both about 2 women who just don't quite fit in and how they find themselves and what they're here for through cooking.

It got me thinking. Here I am a radio "on air personality." I have a job that just about everyone when they hear what I do have the initial response of "I always wanted to do that. It sounds like so much fun." and it is... sometimes.

But at times I can't help but feel like I just don't belong.

All my life I've wanted to work in music somehow. Most of it my dreams have been to behind a board making other people's records sounds amazing. But i've come to terms with the fact that when it comes to running a studio console... i stink! :) But my passion for editing hasn't diminished an ounce. In fact I think it's only gotten stronger. I feel this is where I'm meant to be.

But then there's another part of me that still feels like I'm meant to do something else. I love to read. I would LOVE to have a job where I got paid to read. To write. Another passion. But not one that I'm too confident about. I just don't think my writing is as compelling as others.

And then there's "teaching" in a sense. I don't mean in front of a class helping people understand math or science problems. Though I did thoroughly enjoy science in school. I mean helping people to be ok with themselves.

I believe there's a reason God allowed the things in my past to happen. My testimony can reach so many people. I've seen it. I've been approached about speaking for a group. But my stage freight is holding me back from accepting. Yet there is this nagging feeling in my heart that I need to do this. That something I say can help to save someone's life. To help someone overcome something in their life that they deal with in an dark, empty, lonely space of their minds.

I know what it's like to live behind closed doors with so many people so close and to put on a "show" if you will for everyone. Trying to pretend you're exactly who everyone expects you to be. Then going home, locking yourself inside your mind and being who you really are. Not knowing how to show that side of you to anyone.

It's a sad lonely world. One that no one should ever have to go through. But I don't know how to break out of my shell and just "get over" my stage freight. I would say "one step at a time" to myself if i was trying to give myself a pep talk. But everyone knows that things are easier said than done. So I'm going to recruit you. I need you to be my drill sergeant. Hold me to it. Force me to make the steps that i need to. I might save a life with what i have to do. But you... you will save mine.

- Stacey -

*dies laughing*

listening to: myself on the air...
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i just had to share this cause i laughed REALLY hard!!! her reaction AFTER the fact is the best!!!!



- Stacey -

update....

listening to: "Wonder Of It All (Next Year)" by: Monday Morning

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So I realized I haven't updated in a while. In all honesty. I really haven't had much to update about. Nick and I went on a cruise and we're about to celebrate our anniversary... so... yeah... great update. WOOHOO! lol

I'll update later when my life is more interesting lol.

later

-Stacey Ree-

Dreams Are Real....

listening to: "Things Left Unsaid" by: Disciple

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Wow this song couldn't fit any better if I planned it for my post for today.

Last night I woke up with tears streaming down my cheeks, happy feelings, sad feelings, and a whole lot of "what just happened????" feelings. 

I was having a really weird dream... that's not uncommon for me. But then something happened that really "shook" me. 

In the dream there were about 11 of us in this room and locked off from the rest of the world to keep us safe. But one wall was all mirrors. I was talking to someone who was looking at it and admiring themselves when my Grandma appeared in the mirror. 

I thought I was seeing things. But then I remembered some of the "instructions" as we entered the room. That this wasn't a mirror. It was a "window" and people who have passed on would come to the window to help us survive. 

She and I both started crying. She hadn't changed at all. She loved the color purple and was wearing the same style shirt she always wore. Sleeveless, of course. With little pink and purple flowers. I could smell her even. Nothing had changed. She smelled like hard work (yes it really does have a smell!!), yarn & southern food. I loved the way she always smelled. It was always a sort of "home" to me. 

We just stared at each other for a minute until my niece Emmalee came up and asked where she was. I pointed her out and then my sisters, Anisa & Jennifer came to join us. We all started crying again and Anisa told Grandma she looked so pretty. She laughed and said "No I don..." (she looked down at her outfit and smiled continuing) "...yes I do." :D

We all laughed a little. Cause that was so her sense of humor. Then she teared up again and told us "I miss you. You all turned out so beautiful." 

I woke up just then in tears. I didn't know if it was real or not. I've been told that "angels" can come and talk to you in your dreams my whole life. I've been raised to believe this is real. It happened to numerous people in the bible... I mean one spoke to Mary telling her about baby Jesus after all. 

I feel my dreams so much that sometimes I have a hard time deciphering what's real and what isn't. The rest of the dream honestly felt the way it always does. But the part where my Grandma appeared to and talked to us... it fell "spiritual".... like it was real. Like she was really there... really talking to us. 

She passed away when I was 14 years old. I was going through a really hard time back then. And I lived in my own little world. Not letting anyone know exactly how much pain I was in. When she passed away I wasn't sure how I would survive with out her too. I did. But man it's hard to express how much I miss her daily. 

I never got to say good-bye to her. Maybe this was her way of helping me to move on. 12 (almost 13) years is a long time to dwell on something. 

Was it real? Am I just imaging it? Am I crazy? 

 - Stacey Ree -