Happy Thanksgiving?

listening to: "Oh Star" by: Paramore

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It's the holidays. Everyone's wishing everyone a "Happy Holidays." So far Thanksgiving is past. It was actually a great one. I got to spend it with family. My friend Katie came up from school in Illinois with her boyfriend, Justin. And best of all (no offense to the rest of you) Nick flew in from Nashville while he had a few days off. 

He had to fly back tonight for a few shows. I have to say (thankfully) it wasn't nearly as hard to say goodbye this time. I know when I get to see him again. Plus he has this thing about "spoiling" me. lol So now I own a pair of chucks... and because he worries so much about me being cold... I also now own a brand new jacket and a heating blanket. lol

He doesn't need to buy me things and he knows it. I'm not used to a guy buying me things and treating me like he does. But I can get used to it. :) Honestly when I think about it he buys me is usually pretty practical. Things I can use. Like when he insists on buying groceries or a fan. :) ok so he didn't buy the fan... it was his. But you get the idea. lol 

I won't pretend that I'm not 100% comfortable with him doing it. I wasn't raised to be like that. I'm not used to guys taking care of women. My mom taught me to be independent and that women can do things on their own. They can survive without a man telling them what to do. But in all honesty... It's not so hard to allow Nick to do what he wants. 

Poor guy puts up with enough of my whining when he does. lol So I try and let him do what he wants from time to time. He seems to be ok with that deal. lol

Anyway. That's what's going on in Staceyland... hope all is well and you're enjoying the holiday season wherever you are tonight...

don't be a stranger. ok?

- Stacey Ree -

and then there was one...

listening to: silence (but "Crippling Machine" from: A Roterdam November is stuck in my head...

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sleep. 

I wish. 

Sleep has never come very easily from me. I get that honestly. my mom's always had problems sleeping too. But for a while it wasn't as much of a problem. But now that Nick is gone... sleep has gotten MUCH worse again. I worry if he's ok. We hardly talk because our schedules are polar opposites and we're always so busy.  But for some reason tonight is the worst it's been in months. 

I thought for a second maybe it was because this was around the time Matt died. 

it's not. 

that was a few weeks ago. 

I can't put my finger on it. All I know is that my mind won't stop racing and I can't get comfortable. 

Something's coming. Something big. 

Excitement or anxiousness of worry I can't tell. but whatever it is... my senses are going haywire. I wake up at night expecting to see someone in my apartment... nope... just myself and laura.

I constantly feel watched... but not always creepily. I just can't focus in any way. And what's worse... I don't have anyone to really talk to. Everyone's sleeping right now. And this is the time when it's the worst. in the dead of night while the whole world and everyone I love is asleep and unaware that I'm in need of help... but it's not really help that anyone can give me... at least I don't think....

Ok i'm rambling again... sorry...

- Stacey Ree -

Remembering November 1994...

listening to: "Who You'd Be Today" by: Kenny Chesney & "When We Die" by: Bowling For Soup

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As the anniversary of Matt's death approaches I remember him as he was and wish so many of my family and friends could have met him. Most of all I wish he and Nick would have met. Nick would've liked him. Matt would've been at ease "leaving me" in Nick's care.

I look at my relationship with Nick and I see a lot of Matt in him and how we interact. The jokes we make toward each other. The things he worries about. I haven't told him yet... but he reads this so surprise baby! I just didn't know how to bring it up. 

Everyday he (Nick) becomes more and more of my best friend... the one Matt had always been. And for the first time in my life I'm more at ease with him being gone. For the first time in 14 years I'm not grieving over Matt's death. But rejoicing in the friendship we shared. 

I can't believe how blessed I am. I've gotten to experience 2 of the greatest best friends I'll ever have in my life time... one of them... my guarding angel... and the other... the man God has hand picked for me to spend the rest of my life with.

I only wish the rest of the world could be as happy as I am. 

- Stacey-

OH!!! I forgot... Nick's gotten me into attending church online at lifechurch.tv and in the series "Kaleo" week 1 Pastor Craig told us a story about a woman he saw who may have needed help and how he didn't stop to see and how that memory haunted him... he said one thing that really hit stuck with me. He said... "To care and not act is to not care at all." 

Chew on that for awhile and I pray it opens your eyes to how true that is for each and everyone of us when we choose to not do something simply because we don't want to... To be a good Christian... to be a good neighbor... to be a good citizen... to be a good person... is to help those in need even when you don't want to and it's an "inconvenience". That may be an angel in disguise and it's what God wants... not what we want no matter what way you look at it. So stop making excuses and ACT!

oh what a world....

listening to: singles with Mike...
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oh where do i start? ok well first off sorry about the mix up... I posted a blog about Nick & I and said I talked about him in April of '05 sorry it way in April of '06.

So a lot has been going on 'round here...

Last Friday i met one of my favorite authors of all time, Beverly Lewis. She's amazing and everyone should read her books! You won't regret it!

Then Natalie & I went to the wedding of my friend, Shannon. It was BEAUTIFUL! And I hadn't seen in her in a few years so it was great to catch up for a short time.

HOWEVER... as we waited... Nat and I got a little bored...

so i went tanning...

and we thought i'd be fun to take random pics of ourselves...

we got kind a lazy while "tanning" so we spent the flipping through the radio stations...

and then took more of those random pictures...

but some random weird guy kept buying me drinks... NON-alcoholic of course!!!


yeah it was a TON of fun... well except that guy.... but yeah... it was fun!

any questions? don't ask... cause I got nothing! lol
-Stacey Ree-

And then God spoke to me...

listening to: "Fall" by: Clay Walker
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Something extraordinary happened today! I went to see Matt.

I know no big deal here right?

WRONG!!

I went alone! This is a big deal! I never thought I'd be able to go alone. Nick has given me such strength and courage that I knew I could do it. As I drove nearer to the cemetery. I just felt like I had to stop. It doesn't matter to me if that's only his body laying there. It makes me feel closer to him. I know Matt's always around. But I feel like I can talk freely with him and I can feel that he hears me and cares.

He's happy. He's safe. He's over the moon that God brought Nick and I together. They would've liked each other. In fact... 3 years ago Matt would've probably been right there when Nick & I met and would've seen that we liked each other and then done everything he could've to get us together. That's just who he was. lol

I miss him. But he's happy that God picked Nick out for me. Cause Matt knows I will be taken care of. I won't be allowed to get too much out of hand cause Nick will keep me in check. *dies laughing* and he knows I'll be loved the way I'm supposed to.

I'm so at peace right now. Nothing can bring me down. :D
-Stacey -

IT'S REALLY HAPPENED!!!!

Watching: "Feeling So Fly" by: Tobymac
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I can't believe I'm about to say this FOR REAL... but... I've fallen in love.

I got a "New" boyfriend. He's technically been around for 3 years (posted a blog about him back in April of 2005) but we've just recently gotten together and I've never been happier!!!

His name is Nick... he's A LOT taller than I am... I'm 5'3"... he's 6'5". So it's funny to see the two of us together! lol but yeah! He's a christian... He's adorable... HE COOKS!! He's just plain amazing!

I'm not used to guys telling me I'm beautiful and worth this or that... but he does and I love it. I know this is something I can really get used to!!! We talk everyday and whenever I see his name on my caller ID I giggle. It's kinda annoying I must say. lol HE'S NOT ANNOYING!! I AM!! lol

I can't wait for everyone to meet him!!! A lot of my friends who haven't even met him (ie: Hannah, Angie, Sara etc...) have all told me I "glow" when I talk about him (which is ALL the time). What can I say. I REALLY like him! I've had a crush on him since I met him 3 years ago... but it wasn't time. God wanted us to be together now. And so we are and it's the greatest thing EVER!!!

ok gotta go now before I make myself throw up over how "cute" we are! lol

- Stacey Ree -

best friends day...

listening to: The Myriad "A Thousand Winters Melting"
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WaYfm Sticker Stop Blog...

listening to: "Is It Considered Progression If A Cannibal Uses A Fork" by: Chiodos
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in time of sorrow...

listening to: "Sad To See" by: Philos
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Have you ever been in a situation when things are looking up for you and you're on top of the world. But then at the same time someone very close to you is falling apart and there's nothing you can do to help them. You give them advice. You're there when they cry. You take them out to distract their thoughts. But at the end of the day they crawl back into a whole and cry and all you can do is watch.

To this friend. You know who you are...

I wish I could do more. If I had super powers I would "slay the dragon" that hurt you... I would send you home... even for a short while... I would make it all go away...

But all I can do is to be there for you. Answer the phone when you call. Crack a joke (of course a really bad one lol) when you need to smile.

Just know that I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. And I would do everything in my mortal power to make you feel better through this.

Just remember my favorite verse... Luke 1:37... "For nothing is impossible with God."

Keep him in your heart. And you'll pull through this. God will take care of you.

I love you.
- Stacey Ree -






p.s.... I FOUND MY CHEESE!!!! It's yummy... I'm gonna go eat some now... -k- bye...

Happy 4th of July!!

listening to: "Brand New Day" by: Fireflight
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Transparent

listening to: commercials on some random AC radio station the girls are listening to... they should have on WaYfm! We're commercial FREE!! lol

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I'm dissapointed in myself. When things are coming at me and it seems all I can do is call on God. I do. But when things go my way, I forget to thanks God for the blessings He has given me. I should be thanking Him everyday. I can walk. I can talk. I have an amazing family and group of friends. I am surrounded by people who love me. I have a great job that I love. A roommate I get along with. I'm sorry, Lord. I'm sorry for not giving You the praise You deserve. I don't know why I always do this. Even as I sit here and write this with my little pen and pad of paper, I find myself coloring in the words at the bottom of the page. I know I'm in no way the model Christian. But I want to be. I need Your help, Lord. For the first time in a long time the winds are in my favor and I am doing nothing but longing to praise You for it all. Thank you, Lord... for everything.

Amen.

- Stacey -

video blog #3

natalie dances

video blog #2

video blog #1

The Cheese Hunt

watching: The Perfect Man
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3 towns. 1 day. 10.8 million stores. NO CHEESE!

How is it possible. NO one had it???

I even knocked on my car and started calling at a bunch of Amish people (that couldn't hear me obviously) that passed me on my hunt to see if they knew where I could find it. I was yelling things like "WHERE IS YOUR CHEESE?" and "DO YOU KNOW WHO HAS IT?"

my mom was roaring. I have to admit it was quite a site.

but after searching most of the day. alas... no Amish Cheese with Bacon.

THIS STINKS!!!

SERIOUSLY bumming...
-Stacey-

Oh what a day

listening to: something by the Foo Fighters... something about "another round..." or something...
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Hypothetically speaking... what do you do when one of the days that is supposed to be the absolute best turns out to be one of the absolute worst?

Is it because you get your hopes up too high for that day? You expect everything to be perfect and then because you hoped for so much everything goes totally haywire.

I just don't get it. Makes no sense what so ever.

Trusting In The Lord and His Plan

Listening to: "If I Am" by: Nine Days
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Ok God! I hear You! I understand that I need to have patience!

Wow! The words to this song really are a "God brick" as Nat calls it. :)

I mean look at the words... right off the bat God threw one of his "God bricks" to the back of my head to get my attention...

"So you're standing on a ledge
it looks like you might fall
so far down
or maybe you
were thinking about jumpin'
but you could have it all
if you learned a little patience..."
"... so give me a little credit
have in me a little faith
I wanna be with you forever
but tomorrow's not too late..."

THWAP!

Yeah! Didn't see that one coming. That's gonna leave a mark!

No. I'm not about to literally go "jump" of a cliff. But I was running hear first to dive off the edge and plunge in the metaphorical waters below. I want it all so badly that I couldn't see that I was taking someone else over the edge with me.

I was being selfish.

I'm not hurt, depressed or even sad for that matter. This happens to be one of my "happy" songs.

Now I know why. :D

Thank you, Lord of Heaven and Earth for reminding me that it takes patience and it's all worth waiting for.

*pushes repeat for the 4th time... so far... and starts singing & dancing around her bedroom*
- Stacey Ree -

I called your name today... but you never called back...

listening to: silence
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For the first time ever I am proud to say that AJ is totally behind me! I woke up today and suddenly it hit me. I'm totally over him. I don't think about him nearly as much as I used to. I'm no longer angry. I'm no longer sad. I'm just past that part of my life.

You know the strangest part of it... Brittany posted pictures from her birthday party and as I looked at them I couldn't figure out exactly what I liked about him. Then I started thinking about how 1 year ago I was crying over him. PSHT! FORGET THAT! I was crying over him last week! hahaha

But not anymore. AJ is now tucked away in a memory. I like our friendship. But I'm glad to say that's all it will ever be from this moment on. I have completely let him go.

I'm not afraid to admit... I'm proud of myself!
- Stacey Ree -

The Good Times...

listening to: "Whenever You Remember" by: Carrie Underwood
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Have you ever had those times when you just really miss home? It doesn't matter if you're at school, on the road, or at a friends house. Missing home stinks! I just got a message from a friend saying he moved to Tennessee. I saw a video earlier , "Moments" by: Emerson Drive & Now I'm watching a show about Carrie Underwood and both have Nashville in them. Moments only had "The Bridge" in it but in this show I've seen the skyline, LP Field, & one place that is close to my heart, The Sound Kitchen.

I am going back for a wedding in June. But I don't want to wait that long. I'd gladly give up all birthday plans I could have just to spend one day there again.

I miss my friends. I miss the city. lol I even miss the dumb construction on Briley Parkway.

I'm happy where I am. God wants me here. I have a great job. Amazing friends. My family is here. I don't have anything to complain about.

I just need one day to sastify my homesickness.

I love you, Nashville!
- Stacey Ree -