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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

You're a marked Woman, Stace...

listening to: "What I've Done" by: Until June
**************
Alright it's official! I'm cut off! No more Until June for me!... ok after this time listening through the cd...

You better hold me to being cut off because when I'm sitting at work in between phone calls sobbing for no reason listening to this cd over and over... something has GOT to change.

No matter how many times you hear "It's ok. Everything will work out.", "I know how you feel", "You're beautiful, Stace. He's crazy not to see that." and my personal favorite... "Just give it time. It'll all work out in the end"... yeah... thanks for the support here... but it doesn't change the fact that it hurts.

day after day...

night after night...

after every phone call...

after every text message...

I still fee the same. This part of me doesn't heal like I'm told it's going to. Even the "just let it go. If you don't want to feel this way... don't"

HA!

Easy for you to say! You try feeling this way! It hurts! There's no if, ands -or- buts about it. It hurts. Case closed.

I feel... sick... unloved... ugly... depressed... used... unnoticed... betrayed... uneasy... marked... slandered... hated... need I say more? These feels don't just "go away". Honestly. Show me one person that has just "gotten over it" and I'll show you a liar.

There are only 3 people that I know who are feeling what I'm feeling... the world just doesn't understand... but know that I love you and I'm here for you.

- Stacey -

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

AMEN!!!! i totally feel your pain here. getting over it is the hardest thing to do. sometimes you can't just open your hand and let go. sometimes you just hold on, and keep hoping and praying. i agree, anyone who says that they were able to "get over it" otr "let it go" are liars. they are in denial. at least girls like us know that we can't let go. and we admit it. even if it kills us inside to deal with the feelings we have.

Anonymous said...

Stacey,
i hope that when you have the time, that you will take a few moments to read the message that i sent you through youtube. i am also still very hopeful that you and i can maybe talk some day soon. right now i too feel, "sick... unloved... ugly... depressed... used... unnoticed... betrayed... uneasy... marked... slandered... hated...". It is also VERY true that these kinds of feelings "don't just go away". These types of feelings had not been a part of my life for a long time, until just recently. Now they have come back to haunt me and have remained with me for the last several weeks. Things have NOT gotten any easier, so please believe me when i say that while i don't know your specific situation, i can sympathize with you regarding every word that you have written. please feel free to contact me any time.