Losing touch...

Listening to: "Weak" by: JoJo
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You ever have one of those days where you just sit back and let everything sink in?

I'm having one of those days. I'm just sitting out on my porch listening to music... Surfing the web... Reading my book... And letting the things I've been avoiding become abundantly clear to me.

For instance... A friend of mine and I are drifting apart. We both have had the "is she mad at me?" talks with a mutual friend of ours. But it doesn't seem to help. I've asked if she's wanted to hang out. But I get the "I have to work." (Which I 100% understand)... Or something else... "I have to see what mom has planned." "I was gonna talk to my boyfriend." That sort of thing. It's always sad when two people lose touch... It's even worse when they're really close. I don't want to lose her friendship. It's been my support through more than I can explain. It's apparent that neither one of us wants to let this go... If we didn't we wouldn't care if the other was mad or not.

On another (more positive) note. I have a crush... I know surprise surprise. But this guy doesn't have a girlfriend he has failed to mention... He doesn't want to be... Um... "Friends"... He's actually someone I know cares about being my friend. In fact 2 of my good friends have mentioned me to him and they said he got all excited and made sure to send a hug or a "hello" and told them how he thought I was 'awesome'...

This is a guy that I've actually had a crush on since I met him almost a year ago. It was one of those "I like him but I'm going to fight it because of another guy" things. When I met him I had a boyfriend... That isn't healthy in ANY situation. Then that ended and I dated another guy.... So when that ended I thought "he has to have a girl friend... Someone like him couldn't be single."

Well much to my surprise... I let go of one crush... Then another one... Then this guy that I had been "fighting" had come back into my life... Even though he was never really "gone". I got a call from a friend of mine who had just talked to him he had to pass along the "hello" and such... Then I got ANOTHER call from another friend who had also just talked to him on another day... She wanted to let me know about seeing him and such... The crush was no longer something I could fight.

There are no boyfriends... No other crushes... Only him.

I don't know what I'm going to do if I get shot down again. I don't mean anything rash... I just mean I'm friends with this guy. I mean I don't want my crush on him to ruin our friendship. Not to mention I'm about to go see him again here in a bit and I don't want it to be all awkward... You know. But from what I hear about how he acts when I'm not around the possibilities of that are slim.

I'll let you know how it goes.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!
- Stacey -