Perfection - Not My Thing

I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes. I've done things in my past. Bad things. Things that I wish to not talk about. Things I can't take back. But I can learn from them. I can face them. I can grow from them. And best of all... I can help other's learn from them.

One thing is that today I bought a ring. I know big deal. But it's what the ring represents. Inscribed on the ring are the words "True Love Waits." Yep it's one of 'those' rings. I've wanted a "True Love Waits" ring for quite some time. So from today at this exact moment until the day I wed. I will wear this ring on my ring finger on my left hand.

I haven't realized how the choices I've made have made me fall away from God. At this moment I have decided that I need to rededicate my life to him. I need to get rid of those distractions. I need to focus on the one thing that matters most... God.

It has become abundantly apparent to me by a certain family (you know who you are) that I am a role model - especially to one certain girl. She looks up to me so much that she even wants to take my job from me. :) I must have trained you well young one. ;) hahaha

I don't want her to make the same mistakes. I don't want Kendra, Emmalee, Joslynn or anyone else for that matter to make those same mistakes.

That's why I am writing this. To come clean with my past and to let them know I'm not perfect. I don't want to be false and tell you that you should live a certain way & to live your life for God, when I can't even do it myself. So for you, for God, for myself, I am taking a stand and changing those things about myself. From this moment on I will try to be the role model you see me as.

And with that... I am also making strides toward telling... *takes a deep breath out of fear* JON NEUFELD... *sighs knowing that just saying his name was a HUGE step since he might read this one day*. There. I said his name. No longer will Jon be "him" in my blog. No longer will he remain nameless. Because Jon is somebody. He's that 'Somebody' that all of my friends know I have feelings for. He's that 'Somebody' that I get nervous when I see I get an e-mail from or look into his eyes.

And too all of you who are saying something along the lines of "FINALLY!" - You have Hannah, Natalie & Caleb to thank for that one.

OH! One more thing... I've decided to start adding the country to pray for courtesy of Mission Network News... today oddly enough is El Salvador. If you HONESTLY care to know why this freaks me out... contact me. If not... you probably would get bored or roll your eyes anyway. hahaha But seriously please pray for El Salvador today until the 8th.

- Stacey -