Taking a risk...

Well as of 8:28 pm I have not told Jon anything. However, earlier Natalie and I made a deal. She is trying to help me to be more of a 'risk taker' and she sat with me while I wrote out my first draft of what I want to say.

It was truly heart felt and competely honest. This is just another step in the direction of becoming the type of person who does take risks. As I write this I am starting to 'cool down.' My heart is racing. And for the first time I am litterally warm. Me. Yeah. Crazy I know.

But I pray that with a little encouragement (not that I need anymore) and God's loving hand... that I may have enough courage to follow through with this. I'm really scared. I'm not used to taking chances. I'm not used to 'putting myself out there.' Taking risks has never been a part of who I am. Playing in mud... running around in the rain... getting dirt under my nails (even though it gets dug out quickly afterwards) sure... but never anything like this. That's nothing. I grew up a tomboy. I didn't grow up to be like my mom.

Mom isn't someone who's afraid of a lot of things. I'm emotional... I hate that about myself. But I have learned that will never change. But I'm taking baby steps. This is just one more.

Thank you for all of your support. I want so bad to take this chance. I want to not be afraid anymore.

- Stacey -