Just wait...

listening to "Julia" by Our Lady Peace
****************************
To wait...

Just wait....

Love will find you....

Let it all happen in it's own time...

I've been told over and over my entire life. But when will "wait" end? Do I have to wait until the day that God calls me home. I just want to find him. I want to be with him. I know I'm only 24 years old. But those who say "you're only 24. You're so young. You have your whole life ahead of you." I just want to punch them in the face.

Yeah I mean that.

I know it's not very Christian of me. I know it's really violent. And I don't like it. But I openly admit that when I hear that... that is EXACTLY what goes through my head. Followed by "You have no idea what I feel. You say you do. But you don't. No one feels exactly the same things. So you can't say that. Why can't you see that? Just leave me alone!"

Why do I chase a dream that will never be? I need to accept that the feelings will not be returned. I could have been in a car accident yesterday. My plane could crash tomorrow. My heart could give out on me right now. And I would die "waiting".

I don't want to wait anymore.

I just want to be loved and love them back.

oh look! I posted!

Listening to: “Time” by: Nevertheless… yeah I know… Me? Listening to Nevertheless… like that ever happens! Hahahahaha
***************
So for the past few weeks I’ve been going though my “I feel ugly” phase that y’all know I fall into now and then. Well this one was really bad for some reason. I’ve had some “Family issues” lately but I don’t think that was it. But then on top of it I’ve been really worn out from Old Navy, The hotel AND the band.

But one thing that really helped is that I went to see “my guys” last night. Stephanie (who moved into the house last Tuesday by the way) and I drove down to Chatty to go watch the Nevertheless guys. It was so great to see them! They were surprised (again) to see me for some reason.

Did they honestly think I wouldn’t have been there??? Insanity!

So yeah… we hung out with the guys (obviously), got some really great shot, got great videos, and then went to The Waffle House for the first time in my life.

It was interesting. We sat at 3 different tables… Katie, Wann, Brad & Megan at one. Pearson, Megan (another one), and two guys that I forgot their names at another. While Stephanie, Rowe, AJ and I shared the last one.

Yeah… lots of interesting conversations there… I mean it’s insanity enough when it’s AJ & I… or Rowe and I… or even AJ & Rowe… but you get the 3 of us together in the same conversation… yeah… insanity! But oh no! That wasn’t the half of it… because you get Stephanie and I in the same conversation and that’s a whole other story… but we had all 4 of us in one! That was… interesting… that’s all I have to say about that! Lol

But it was a great show! They played “False Starts” which they haven’t played in a really long time on stage cause someone wanted to hear it and… well… they could.

But the best part was when they did a “second encore” and played “O Child”. Yeah Leslie! You missed O’ Child!!! It was AWESOME! They had never played that on stage… EVER!!! I love that song! AND they played “Losing Innocence” AND my absolute favorite NTL song… “It’s Me” MAN I LOVE THAT SONG!!!

If you want to see pics and/or videos from last night check out my you tube and/or my photobucket. Ok I’m done now. :D

- Stacey -

STACEY GOES CRAZY!............ part 2

Listening to: a whole lot of agents making reservations, typing… oh yeah and I have “Brotherhood” by Flatfoot 56. Stuck. In. My. Head.
*****************************
So yeah. Not a lot going on in The Busy World Of Stacey Scary. But in the same sense… yeah… a lot HAS been going on.

Oh where do I begin?

As you know I made the 10 hour drive along with Andrea & Wynnde to go surprise AJ, Pearson, Wann, Rowe, Brad, Matt, Jonathan & Cah-lay-leb in Louisiana. But what you may NOT know (because my blog is updating right now so I can’t re-read the last blog) is that I made more friends. WOOHOO! I made buddies with Tobin, Josh Robieson, Kyle, Justin (Flatfoot 56), Jonathan, & Josh Brown.

You have NO idea the insanity my life is in now! Lol

ALSO… I manage a band now…. But you knew that…

But yeah… what you DIDN’T know is that Stephanie is going to be our 4th roommate! WOOHOO! She’s moving in the first of December so that makes Wynnde, Andrea, Stephanie and myself VERY happy!

But that’s beside the point… I’m married…. Or at least that’s what Noah thinks. Hahahahaha I was at the Pillar show last night with the girls and Flatfoot. Well if you’ve ever seen Flatfoot you would know that Tobin is RRREEEAAALLLYYY tall. He’s like 7’2” compared to me!

Anyway…

I was talking to Noah’s wife, Lindsay about their new baby girl when Noah walked up behind Lindsay and Tobin behind me right as Noah was acting like he was going to beat me up. Now Noah’s arms are like 5 of me! So you think I’d be afraid!

NOPE!

I told him ‘you don’t wanna mess with these guns!’ as I flexed my lack of pistols. And then pointed to Tobin and said “I got this to back me up.” We started laughing because he really is a lot taller than I am. And then Noah says to Tobin “Is she your wife?” Tobin and I looked at each other and started laughing. So for the rest of the night we were joking about us being married and at one point he asked me when the date was and then said we were gonna have an Antelope Elopement cause he couldn’t get out the word “elope” hahahahahahahaha

Other than that… not much…

Oh but I quit Old Navy.

-k- bye.

SAVE ME! PLEASE!

Listening to: other agents talking on the phone.
**********************
So as you guessed… I’m at work. Yep. I am bored OUT OF MY MIND! I literally am averaging 1 call every 15 – 20 minutes.

Just got off the phone with one of the girls at Towne Park and she said that they’re just as bad. So now I’m sitting here waiting for Frank to tell me to go home so I can call Don to come get me before I fall asleep!

Oh! Don! Yeah! SURPRISE! NEW GUY IN MY LIFE! Actually it’s 4 new guys! Tee hee.

I am managing a band now. They’re called Shine Under. Living here in Nashville but born and raised in Allegan, MI. I work with two of the guys here at the hotel and it just was in God’s plan for the 3 of us to meet. Then Sean & Adam asked me to be their manager. I of course said yes and asked on of our “co-stars”, Stephanie to assist me in Merchandise.
WISE CHOICE!

Then they introduced Stephanie and I to Don. Don is a mechanic as well as the bands drummer. Right now he’s working on my car since It decided it wanted to start squealing and smoking at me 2 days before I was supposed to go visit Kendra for her 7th birthday.

I never made it home.

Well Don is still working on the car and has been nice enough to drive me to work and come pick me up. The guys are amazing! They’re so appreciative! They joke around about the fact that they can’t pay Stephanie and I and so we joke with them. For instance I told them that they could buy me this watch I had when I was 6. It was a ninja turtles watch that had all 4 of their heads on it and the logo.

I lost the watch a long time ago and I’ve been looking for a new one a lot over the past few years. Sean found it. The EXACT watch… ok not exact. The wrist band isn’t black plastic like mine was. But still! How sweet is that! They bought me this watch as a thank you and I was only kidding when I told them about it.

Things have been falling together really well and really fast when it comes to the band. I was really missing the industry, Stephanie wanted to work merch for someone and the guys wanted to tour… well… 2 out of three… check… we’re not going to do any bookings until we find a 4th member. So if any of you know of a guitar player in the Nashville area… LET ME KNOW! PLEASE!

Oh and the 4th guy in my life… Oscar… our mascot!... yeah... he's a dog.... litterally.

SWEET COOKIES! IT'S STACEY!

Listening to "I Love You" by: Under The Influence Of Giants
***********************
OK. So last night my roommates, Wynnde, Andrea & I drove 10 hours to Pennville, LA to surprise some friends of ours. We drove 8 hours to a hotel in Monroe, LA and then the other 2 hours the next morning. This in itself is something you should be proud of me for! Cause I HATE to drive and I drive the entire 10 hours!!! GO! ME!

Caleb, Matt & Jonathan knew that we were going to be there but we wanted to make sure it was a surprise for the rest of our friends. So kudos to them for keeping the secret. YOU GUYS ROCK!

The night was pretty interesting. We rolled up at about 11:30am to the venue and then Eleventyseven showed up about 5 minutes later. Wynnde and I went out to meet up with them and to get the merch table set up... not very story worthy... just the three of us joking around with Matt a lot. Then Neverthless arrived and after a bit AJ was the first to make his way to the merch tables. I was helping Matt hang a sign and had my sunglasses on. AJ saw me and said he thought that I looked familiar but it took a few seconds AFTER I said "You better not walk past me" for him to realize exactly who I was.

AJ & I went backstage to say hey to the rest of the band and he had the idea of my not telling them who I was. He told me to tell them that I was their merch volunteer and that my name was Amanda.... yeah I walked up to Pearson and said "Hi I'm your merch girl, Stacey." I'm a dork what can I say. But it took him a second to realize it was me. So mission accomplished there. Wann & Rowe... it didn't take long for them to know it was me. Brad on the other hand... sadly Brad and I don't talk much so I basically had to go over to him and tell him it was me.

Then Jonathan told me he had a confession to make. Now Jonathan is NEVER as serious as he was right then so I sat down next to him and listened to his confession... now because I love Jonathan to death I'm not about to tell what he said. But just know... it's nothing bad. He just had a case of "mistaken identity" if you will along with Caleb. But hey it was a compliment to the person they thought was someone else.

Wynnde and I were supposed to run the merch table for Eleventyseven. She went to go watch some friends perform since she had a lot of friends there while I watched the table and then when she was around I took off to hang with Nevertheless. Surprise Surprise. I tried to split my friendship time up equally... but it's hard when you've known Nevertheless for as long as I have and Eleventyseven is backstage. But I tried.

The food was gross according to Pearson. So I was a little iffy to try it. It didn't look to appetizing. So Jonathan & Caleb took my car to Wal-Mart and then Wann, Pearson & AJ called and asked them to bring back something to eat... which of course is the greatest meal for a band of 5 20-something year old guys... lunchables. HAHAHA

I went to go watch Nevertheless' set. They of course did amazing. Only problem was the PA system sucked and you could hardly hear the vocals. Wann said he was sick on top of it but you couldn't tell while he was on stage. So kudos to Kung Fu Wann!

When dinner rolled around I figured I should check it out since we were in Louisiana and they had Gumbo, Jumbalia, & Crawfish... yeah you try being in the middle of Louisiana and not attempt to at least TRY them! Well I tried... Pearson ended up eating it since I didn't even touch it. AJ of course couldn't eat the Crawfish since it was a like a fettuchini Alfredo dealie. So I went to McDonald's to get he and I some REAL food. But not before AJ pulled me up on stage with he, Wann, Flatfoot56, Eleventyseven (who was performing) and a bunch of other bands that I didn't know for the last performance.

Personally... I didn't belong up there. I'm not in a band. I'm just a friend of some of the guys who are. So I stayed to the side of the stage and let everyone else have their fun. But AJ wanted me to stage dive with everyone else. YEAH RIGHT! HAS HE SEEN ME? I WOULD GET KILLED! But then again... look at him... and he wanted to! hahaha

Matt asked for the "choir" to come off the wings of the stage to have a sing along and Wann & AJ told me to join them. Umm thanks guys. But I'm cool on the side of the stage thanks. I guess my fear of the spotlight kicked in right about then. Plus... I didn't want the fans to think that because I was up there that they all could be too. That would have been even more chaos than it was.

Well that's not even the best part! There were guys that stole Jonathan's overhead mics and were screaming into them along with Caleb. When Caleb threw himself on the ground to spin one of the Flatfoot56 guys started spinning him by the foot like the Wheel of Fortune... Wheel... yeah. And then at the end of the song the "choir" as Matt called us started running off with Jonathan's drum kit. The great part is that Jonathan never missed a beat. He followed symbol until it was gone and then got up off of his stool and ran off after his snare STILL playing it! It was a hoot!

After the show NTL had to head back to Tennessee (10 hours remember) and Eleventyseven had to make a 14 hour trip to North Carolina. So we said good-bye after good-bye and then parted ways. :( But then Andrea, Wynnde and I met up with the guys from Decemberadio & Day Of Fire (minus a Josh Brown) at IHOP for some arm wrestling and some REALLY tired spilling of EVERYTHING Stacey had on her mind! Oh yeah.. and we had food too.

Well.. I'm back in Nashville now. Safe and sound... sort of. I'm exhausted. But it was well worth the trip. I wouldn't have traded that trip for... almost... anything.

More from the Music City soon.
- Stacey -

I'M A STAR!... No really... I am!

listening to:.... umm..... nothing... that's odd!
***********************
Ok so incase I haven't already called or IM'd you...

I started work at the Hotel today. It was a lot of fun! We only had orientation today. But it was still a ton of fun! We took a small tour of Nashville and made a few important stops at the Grand Ole Opry, The Ryman & The Wildhorse Saloon.

So today ended up being QUITE the eventful day. With lunch at Rachel's inside the Hotel itself, Testing out some fried pickels at the Wild Horse Saloon, Line Dancing at the Wild Horse Saloon, Almost crushing a BMW & VW with our Bus at the Ryman, Touring the Grand Ole Opry, & Singing on stage at the Grand Ole Opry.

YEAH! I JUST SAID THAT!

ME!

Little miss "WaYfm Stacey"... "Stacey Ree".... "Stacey Bob".... SANG! ON STAGE! AT THE GRAND.... OLE... OPRY!

Ok so it's not like I sang for an audience with the lights or anything. It was Happy Birthday and in a group. BUT STILL!

HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN SAY THEY SANG ON THE GRAND OLE OPRY???

Ok I'm done now.

Just be proud of me and we'll call it good. hahaha

ROCK ON CROUTON!
- Stacey -

O' Child

listening to: "O' Child" by: Nevertheless
*************************
Ok so you may know already that my mind doesn't work like "normal" peoples.... in my mind when you feel something for someone you need to do things like stare at a picturea of the two of you until your eyes sting from not blinking.

I just don't hve the attention span for that. Nor do I have the time :). My mind just simply won't allow it. When you have as many thoughts as I do you just know it's impossible and honestly... how many people do that in real life?

So yeah... couldn't sleep last night. I know... BIG surprise. But the whole Tennessee move has been heavy on my mind lately. I've been sayinf for the past... no joke... 16 years that I'm going. But it didn't really hit me until I rolled over in hopes of leaving some thoughts behind on the abandoned pillor when I noticed a picture that usually hangs stragetically in eyesight next to my pillow like an angel watching over me as I sleep was packed away.

I never realized how much that one picture had been such a comfort in the past few months. It makes me miss Matt more than I have in a long time since he died. I wish he were here. He would have been so proud. He always knew I would go one day. He never doubted that from the day I met him until the day he couldn't fight the cancer anymore.

I think about him often. Mostly in times like this when I know he'd be right there being the supportive best friend he always was. Which I know in my heard is just his way of telling me... that he is. Sometimes I find myself talking to him outloud, sometimes in my head. And it's almost like I can hear him laughing at me when I do or say soemthing completely random.

There is no way to go back and change what happened. But I know. God knows. Matt knows. That if I could, I would trade places with Matt. So that he could live a full life.

But then again.... He did.

I miss you, Matt!
- Stacey-

FINALLY!!

listening to: "Time (To Let This Go)" by: Nevertheless
***************************************
Today is the day! I have been waiting for this day for the past 1 year.... ok it's been over a year now... BUT... YEAH! Nevertheless' cd is released TODAY! I don't think I have been more proud of them than I am at this very moment.

Let me just say that I HIGHLY recommend this cd to everyone. Give it a sample and I promise you will be as addicted as I am!

You cannot escape the love that is Nevertheless. hahaha

But yeah... Nevertheless "Live Like We're Alive" in stores TODAY!

better late than never...

listening to: the rain outside
*******************
ok so I know it's been a while since I've updated (all 5 of you) on what's going on in my life (cause it's not like I don't talk to you just everyday haha)

Well as you know my big move to Tennessee is only 18 days away. I'm getting really nervous. This is a big move and I just want to be sure that this is really what God wants in my life and that it's not just something I think He wants.

I talked to Wynnde today (like every other day haha) and she was at Shoutfest with my near and dear friends Caleb, Matt & Jonathan (Eleventyseven) along with Rowe, Wann, Pearson, AJ & Brad (Nevertheless). This of course depressed me cause I haven't seen them in months. I began to feel like a horrible friend since Wynnde sees them all the time and I don't.

I'm going to miss Nevertheless' cd release party by 9 days and that kills me. I feel like I should be there to show my support... which of course I know I don't need to show to them. If they haven't figured out by now how much I support them... they're some REALLY blind guys! :)

I did however get to talk to Rowe for a second so that was cool. And I heard Pearson in the background saying something. Wynnde told me that Matt told her to tell me hi but she had already hung up. I miss those guys. :( The only thing that would have made me want to be there more would have been if Lu (Story Side:B) and Katie & Brian (3:16) would have been there. If they were there then I would have been REALLY heart broken.

So anyway... talked to Wynnde for a bit after the gang parted and then when we hung up I tried to get some sleep... knowing it wasn't gonna happen. Well I was right. So after reading for a bit and then beating another level on The Legend of Zelda: Link To The Past... I decided to go for a drive.

So I did.

I just drove around town listening to Until June (Of course!) trying to clear my head. Which as you know is a non-stop, drama filled, chaos factory. But it must have done something to my mind cause about the time I was passing the old factory near my apartment I hit the curb. My mind drifted and I almost flipped my brand new (even though it's a used car) car.

So now I lay here in my room only lit by my computer screen listening to the rain outside and typing another random blog that is extremely long and probably not making any sense. Honestly. I don't remember half of what I wrote. I'll have to go back and read it.

Insomnia has become a part of my life...
- Stacey -

so you had a bad day...

listening to: "Sway" by: The Perishers
***********************
As most of you know I had one of the WORST days I've had in a long time. I spent most of the day crying to Wynnde about my chinese food that I spilled all down the front of me and didn't get to eat any of... the guy in the 15 passanger that tried killing me... or the exit I knew was there but missed cause I was too busy crying.

But then Wynnde did something that reminds me of why she is one of my best friends. So I go to dropp of my last two barrels for the Class Act Back Pack Drive at Lake Michigan Credit Unions around Grand Rapids with my chinese food covered WCSG polo and favorite jeans. My cell rings and I look down seeing the word "Pearson" staring back at me.

That in itself almost made me cry. Why is it that when you're at your worst the greatest things happen??? God is truly amazing. Anyway. So I'm having this horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day (Hey that's a book!) and then Pearson calls.

So we talked for a while and he was a sweet heart as usual. We talked about Amy. We talked about my moving and of course, my bad day. Basically he told me that they (being the Nevertheless guys) called just to say hey.

Well after I got off the phone I talked to Wynnde and she told me that she called Pearson cause she knew AJ's minutes were up for the month and that hearing from the guys would cheer me up. Pearson totally played dumb. He acted like he didn't know I was having this aweful day. He just let me vent.

I heart my friends. But my day is so much better now. Hearing from Pearson really helped. Wynnde knew it would. Wynnde really cared that I was having this aweful day and she tried to take some of the weight on herself so I wouldn't be so saddened by it. She also cheered me up a bit by telling me she's gonna be 15 minutes from my house and 20 minutes (TOPS) from the station on Wednesday. Brandon called just to make sure I was ok and to let me know he was praying for me. THANK YOU WYNNDE, BRANDON AND PEARSON!!! It really means a lot to me to know I have friends like you.

Well I have to stop now. I haven't been sleeping well lately... ok ever... but it's been worse lately with the move and job hunting and all... and I promised a few friends I would go to bed early tonight... SO MUCH FOR THAT! They're actually telling me THEY'RE going to bed before me!

WHOOPS!!!
- Stacey -

God And Saying Goodbye

Watching: Sweet Home Alabama
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You know those moments where God reminds you how precious life is... just how scared you can get... and show you what is truly important... all in a moment?

Today I was visiting my sister, Anisa along with her husband, Josh and my three beautiful nieces, Kendra, Emmalee & Joslynn.

I had been acting and feeling weird all day. But while we were just sitting there reading a book my heart started acting up again. But this time it affected my lungs... I really thought that maybe today was the day that I was going to die.

I began thinking about all the things that mattered to me. The things in my life that I say mean so much to me that in all reality.. I hardly give a second thought. I began thinking about the 'what ifs'. Like "what if I never see Emmalee turn 4"... "What if I never hear Joslynn say 'I love you, Aunt Stacey."... "What if I don't get to interrogate Kendra's first boyfriend."

But then I began thinking... I'm going to miss those things anyway. Because when I move to Tennessee finally... it's sort of like the Stacey from the middle of nowhere, Michigan will die. Because it's not like I'll be a few towns away. I'll be a few states away... a few... long... hours away. I wont get to see those girls all the time.

I'm really going to miss those three. But there are things you have to let go of when you have a dream like I have my whole life. I'm going to try to be a better Aunt to those girls... A better sister to my sisters... a better daughter... a better friend. Cause you just never know... cause no matter if I die tomorrow... or move to Tennessee... I'm going to have to say good-bye.

Amazing Stories: week 2

listening to: Jerry cutting into the groupnd to put in patio stones, mom & Jen being Mom & Jen, the pool filter, & the wind

reading: The Ishbane Conspiracy
**********************************************
Today was one of most powerful sermon's that I have ever experienced. We're in our 2nd of 5 week "Amazing Stories" Series. Last week was all about Isaac & Abraham and laying down the "Isaac" in our lives. This week the amazing story we focused on was Moses and the Red Sea. About how when we get to the moments in our lives when there's no way out... look to God and see the path he has created. It's there... it's just may be at the bottom of the sea.

After the sermon, Pastor Joel asked those of us who are in a 'no way out' point in our lives for an altar call. It was a really emoional time as the congregation watched our friends and family take their place at the stage. There was hardly an empty space along the front of the stage and not a dry eye in the sanctuary.

After a prayer for those who were dealing with thier "Red Sea" the service was dismissed and something called me up front to comfort a friend of mine. I didn't ask questions. I just hugged them and cried with them. They asked if they could talk to me. I of course agreed and we sat down. It took at lot for them to open up and let go of what was troubling them. I'm greatful that this person could confide in me. I only wish I knew how to help. I gave the only advice that I knew since I have never been in that situation. And I couldn't help but feel guilty.

I felt guilty for being as happy as I have been over the past few months. I felt guilty that things are going so well in my life. That things are falling into place when it comes to my moving to Tennessee.

Then as we cried together a little more and began to pray together. A "Miracle" happened... I have a certian friend that every time I'm having a bad day or something bad happens just happens to know or something. He's always there. We were praying and I heard the guitar into to one of his band's song playing on the PA. It was the first time I had ever heard him play at my church. I looked up, knowing people were thinking I was insane... most people think that anyway... and said something along the lines of "Now is no the time to be funny up there!" Leslie, my friend and I all laughed and I just had to call my friend whom was playing. I got his voicemail. But I had to let him know that he was not only there for me as I comforted a friend, but he was there for my friend who needed it and he didn't even know it.

This was the point in my blog where I was going to try to be all wise and junk by quoting "My Savior, My God" by: Aaron Shust. Teling you, my dear reading friend, that I was at one of the "Red Sea" moments in my life not 2 months ago... wait... it was... 2 months... today. well the last day of it anyway. God speaking to me telling me "You're not supposed to understand, you're supposed to just do as I tell you." and using the lines from that song that say "I am not skilled to understand what God has willed what God has planned." and reminding myself of that daily was my path through the Red Sea.

Anyway... now that I have done my daily rambeling... As I read the lyrics to the rest of Aaron's songs I found one more suiting. So I will just leave you to ponder this. And I hope it will help you to look to God and find your path through the Red Sea. In his song "More Wonderful" he says...

"When the world crashes down around me
I know You'll be there to pull me out from the rubble
When my enemy surrounds and I call on Your name
You'll be there to deliver me from my troubled soul"

amen.

Opening Up My Heart

Ok so there's no denying the fact that I have a really big crush on a friend of mine, AJ Cheek from the band Nevertheless. See the guys came in to the station for an interview and stuff before we all headed for lunch and then to a show in Muskegon. But we had a few 'visitors' before we left. Yeah . That's right... thanks to Sierra & Lemke there is no doubt in my mind that AJ knows that I like him.

So now I'm down to only 2 fears when it comes to AJ.... 1.. that he may not like me back... and 2... that he may think the only reason I like him is because of his band. If that were the case then I would have crush on every band I've met. Think about it. When I first met eleventyseven... Caleb was VERY single. But Caleb is sort of like my little brother. He likes to pick on me in every way possible and I pick back.

I had a crush on Jon Neufeld. I admit that. But that's behind me. I've been over Jon. Basically we stopped talking and my crushed slowly faded with it.

But there's something about AJ. Britanny (Nevertheless' drummer, Adam Rowe's girl friend) asked me on friday what it is about AJ that I like so much. I couldn't give her one thing. He has the most beautiful hazel eyes I've ever seen. His smile makes me giggle like a 13 year old who just discovered boys do NOT have cooties.

The way he teases me about bands that I don't like... one in particular is the most adorable thing I've ever seen. How he brushes his hair to the right side of his forehead every few minutes... His laugh... His enourmous heart... his accent... his southern charm... the list goes on. There's just something about him I just can't seem to shake.

Why I'm writing this in a blog I don't know. I should be telling him. I should have told him on Friday when he & I wer saying goodbye outside of the WaYfm Envoy and the Nevertheless Van. I should have hugged him tighter... held on a little longer... forget that... I just should have told him.

This is me... opening up my heart that I have kept locked up tightly for years. I am taking a risk that I'm not used to taking. I'm putting my heart out there for AJ to take for his own... since it is his already... or for him to turn and walk away.

Either way.... AJ... if you're reading this... I am willing to keep this as friendship only. I'd rather have your friendship than nothing at all. I just can't deny my heart any longer. I don't know if this is God's will or not. But if it is... who am I to hide under a rock and not allow his will to be done.

- Stacey -

There's a Wann growing out of my head!

Oh where to start....

Big Ticket was a blast and a half. I got to see one of my best friends, Wynnde. So that was super cool... Oh my sweet cookies! Did I seriously say 'super cool' *goes back and re-reads* I did... *hangs head in shame*

Well I got to visit with my friends, Brian & Katie from 3:16. I haven't seen them in a while. So I really geeked when I found out they were going to be there. Wynnde immediatly fell in love with thier music and thier merch table had a really good turn out. They did some really great songs from thier cd "At The Gate" and of course Katie and to go and point me out mentioning WaYfm... The show wasn't for me, Katie. hahaha

I got to see the guys from Story Side:B again also. Was really happy about that. Sadly I didn't get to try sushi like I was supposed to. :( Next time guys. I promise.

The one thing I am the most excited about though (No offense to 3:16 and Story Side:B - cause I saw them a lot more recently) is that I got to see my friends from Nevertheless. Can you believe it's been a year since I last saw them? We hung out quite a bit and a more laughs than should be allowed. For instance... ok there are 5 guys in the band... Joshua (lead vocals), Wann (Adam number Wann (yeah corney joke from Joshua - Wann plays the Bass), AJ (Lead guitar), Brad (Rhythmic guitar) & Rowe (Another Adam who plays drums)... anyway... We were all hang out at the merch table and I was leaning up against a post in the pavilion and Wann was also... I was like laying on it with my right shoulder and my arms wrapped around it for some reason. Wann had his right arm propped above my head (since he's a lot taller than I am) and then Wynnde gave me something to set down next to our stuff and when I turned I ran into Wann's arm. Only thing is when I moved so did his arm... he just left it pressed against my head and said that I tried to take it from him... All I could think of to say was "Wynnde! There's a Wann growing out of my head!"

That's one story of MANY... just know that the guys REALLY liked to tease me! Between Josh and Wynnde I have no idea who enjoyed teasing me more. But I think out of all of them I think Brad got me the best in one shot... Brad... I'll get you back for that one. hahahaha Let's just say that I got so embarassed that I took off running and hid... yeah I don't do that very often! But I probably deserved it.

Another is that Brad, Wann & Rowe wrote "AJ" on the back of AJ's neck so then Brad ended up with "Brad" on the back of his and then Wann got tagged with "A.W." But I saw AJ's first and then I pointed it out to Wynnde as he was walking away and as soon as she saw it we started laughing really hard and he gave us a look of "What'd I do?" So then we later had to explain why we were laughing. He obviously knew it was there. But it was just funny cause Wynnde made the comment of "Someone forgot his name and so they wrote it on his neck to keep track of who's who." hahaha

And with that I am going to get back to work cuase I'm at the Jessie Daniels show right now and I'm supposed to be signing people up for the WaYfm Street Squad and the WaYfm Music Crew. Now if only people would come out here and sign up... but hey she just started singing "The Noise" and I'm still not seeing anyone coming out so I'm assuming they're enjoying it. THAT'S GREAT NEWS!!!

- Stacey -














This is Josh














Introducing Adam Rowe














My buddy Adam Wann














That'd be Brad














Yep. That's AJ.

Girl Guts

"Raindrops" by: Armor For Sleep
*****************************
So I was at the WaYfm werbsite, http://www.way.fm tonight watching videos when one REALLY stuck out at me. It's a song I've known inside and out for a long time.. but I guess... like something else in my life... I never really let it 'grab a hold of me' until now.

Chad, Natalie's boyfiend and a good friend of mine has this thing he likes to tease us girls (Natalie, Wynnde, Leslie & I) about. He says we need to 'grow girl guts'. Since none of us... ok well... not Leslie... are really bad at being risk takers. This is something I'm sure you're WELL aware of by now that I have a problem with.

Well something really BIG is about to happen to me. No I'm not saying "Oo! I can predict the future!" Cause I can't. This is something I've known about and have been planning. Well the time is LITTERALLY moments away and I am on pins and needles so to speak.

I made the comment to Wynnde a little earlier about how I am both extremely excited and more nervous than I have ever been in my life. I truly mean that.

I don't know what God has planned. I don't know why this is happening. I wasn't even supposed to be there. But here I am... with the clock ticking down to this moment.

As I... ok lay here... in my room only lit by the screen from my monitor... my mind begins to wander to that moment. That first initial moment. What's going to happen? How will I react? What will be the outcome? All these questions and many senarios that poor Wynnde has had to endure over and over hearing about have been bouncing off the shell of my brain like a ping pong ball in mid play.

I can't sleep. When I do... it's restless and for short periods of time.

Forget focusing on one certain thing. My mind keeps drifting to this day... this hour.. this second...

I was asked yesterday by lead singer, Lu from Story Side: B if I was married becuase I wear 2 rings on the ring finger of my left hand and because I am so young.

I explained to him about the Claudaugh and that I wear it like that because my heart is taken by the man I am going to marry one day.. whomever he may be. I don't know if I have met him yet... but if I have... there's one man that I have my heart set on.

No. Not Jon. Or the guy I met a few months ago that I couldn't stop thinking about. This is a guy that I met a while ago. Someone who I fell for the day I met. But I suppressed it thinking that it could never be and that I needed to focus on what I had and other parts of my life.

These feelings have been building up this entire time. Every time his name was brought up. Everytime I heard something that reminded me of him. The feelings built up a little more. Only I didn't know it until I got over the whole Nick thing.

Now this is what I mean by 'girl guts'. I'm taking a risk of this man reading this and figuring out that it's him before the 'moment' arrives... or even after for that matter.

But since I've done so much rambling.. that I'm quite good at :) I will end now. Sorry for either boring you... or making you go completely crazy out of confusion.

- Stacey Ree -

The Emberlight

Last night I got a call from my good friend, Andy saying to get to to a show in GR... one small problem... The Emberlight went on in 45 minutes and it takes Leslie 30 minutes to get to my house and 40 minutes for me to get to GR.

But we made it for a least one song!

I promised I'd post some pictures so here ya go.

That's Andy in the green jacket - Jeff in the gray t-shirt

This is my good buddy, Scott who plays drums for The Emberlight... hahaha he ONLY referes to me as "WaYfm Stacey" cause of my Myspace name hahahaha

One of the girlfriends... my friend, Lauren (pictured with Jeff) & my new friend, Anna (pictured with Andy). HOW CUTE ARE THEY?!?

OH! and just so you know how crazy my family is...

Oh yes... Leslie and I are crazy ones! hahahaha. It's a classic family trait!
But Leslie does have her adorable moments
And no family photo blog would be complete with out one of the "adopted" cousins... I love ya Rachel!

Losing touch...

Listening to: "Weak" by: JoJo
************
You ever have one of those days where you just sit back and let everything sink in?

I'm having one of those days. I'm just sitting out on my porch listening to music... Surfing the web... Reading my book... And letting the things I've been avoiding become abundantly clear to me.

For instance... A friend of mine and I are drifting apart. We both have had the "is she mad at me?" talks with a mutual friend of ours. But it doesn't seem to help. I've asked if she's wanted to hang out. But I get the "I have to work." (Which I 100% understand)... Or something else... "I have to see what mom has planned." "I was gonna talk to my boyfriend." That sort of thing. It's always sad when two people lose touch... It's even worse when they're really close. I don't want to lose her friendship. It's been my support through more than I can explain. It's apparent that neither one of us wants to let this go... If we didn't we wouldn't care if the other was mad or not.

On another (more positive) note. I have a crush... I know surprise surprise. But this guy doesn't have a girlfriend he has failed to mention... He doesn't want to be... Um... "Friends"... He's actually someone I know cares about being my friend. In fact 2 of my good friends have mentioned me to him and they said he got all excited and made sure to send a hug or a "hello" and told them how he thought I was 'awesome'...

This is a guy that I've actually had a crush on since I met him almost a year ago. It was one of those "I like him but I'm going to fight it because of another guy" things. When I met him I had a boyfriend... That isn't healthy in ANY situation. Then that ended and I dated another guy.... So when that ended I thought "he has to have a girl friend... Someone like him couldn't be single."

Well much to my surprise... I let go of one crush... Then another one... Then this guy that I had been "fighting" had come back into my life... Even though he was never really "gone". I got a call from a friend of mine who had just talked to him he had to pass along the "hello" and such... Then I got ANOTHER call from another friend who had also just talked to him on another day... She wanted to let me know about seeing him and such... The crush was no longer something I could fight.

There are no boyfriends... No other crushes... Only him.

I don't know what I'm going to do if I get shot down again. I don't mean anything rash... I just mean I'm friends with this guy. I mean I don't want my crush on him to ruin our friendship. Not to mention I'm about to go see him again here in a bit and I don't want it to be all awkward... You know. But from what I hear about how he acts when I'm not around the possibilities of that are slim.

I'll let you know how it goes.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!
- Stacey -

Land of Evil Printers

Listening to: "Supersonic" by: Family Force 5
********************
Ok for those of you that like Family Force 5 you usually listen to them either cause you're in a good mood or to make you be in one right?

For those of you that don't listen to them... Give it time I WILL have you addicted! And if I don't... Natalie, Leslie or Wynnde will.... Either way... You cannot escape the love that is Family Force 5.

Anyway... So yeah you usually listen to them cause they're awesome and it makes you happy... Nope. Not me. Not right now. I'm literally listening to them to CHILL OUT! hahaha you don't listen to them to chill out. This is not 'chill out' music. But I am.

Why? Well in a nut shell.. WCSG is out to get me. I just know it! And everyone is using the WCSG printers as the main tool to making me finally take that last step of utter and complete insanity. I was literally yelling at one of them earlier. If that one wasn't printing my envelopes upside down then it was printing them on the BACK of the envelope. And it wouldn't print from the trays it was supposed to...

Heck no that would be WAY to easy. Nope instead I had to switch paper to envelopes literally with EVERY printing job. And then I was trying to print to another printer cause I have officially decided I hate the other one...

So then that one ate my stack of envelopes at once and then decided to print at the previous printer...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Starts twitching and stuttering*

don't bother calling 9-1-1... She's beyond help!

SURPRISE!

Listening to: "Take Away" by: Mainstay
***********************
Hey look I'm updating! Be proud! hahaha

Ok so what is the greatest thing in the world to wake up to at 1:30am????

I'll give you a hint...

It has something to do with a friend named Wynnde calling you and saying "I have someone that wants to talk to you" and it turning out to be one of the greatest men in Christian Music... Andy Rosco from The Emberlight!

You figured it out yet? ;)

So yeah. The Emberlight is on tour right now in the Ohio area mostly so I haven't talked to Andy in a little while cause he's so busy. But yeah it was so good to hear from him. I miss him! Andy's the greatest! *thinking to herself* I wonder if he wore his green shoes... hmmm...

ok to bed I go... again... lol... night!
- Stacey -

Today is the day!

so I hope all of you went out and picked up your copies of "Eleventyseven And The Land Of Fake Beleive" and "Beauty In The Broken". Both were released today! *does a happy dance*

I've been waiting since November... *tries to recalculate in her mind*... oh I don't remember... whenever the Starfield cd was supposed to originally be out. The street date got pushed back so many times that I lost track. But it's been a while. And now it's out and everyone can share in the joy that is Starfield.

Not to mention. My dear friends, Eleventyseven have put out thier debut cd on flicker records as well.

my 2 favorite bands putting out a cd on the same day... what more could I ask for... Nat, Leslie, Chad & Wynnde... don't answer that. hahahaha

- Spaztic Monkey... or whatever my new nickname is today... hahaha *looks at Nat* PHONE BOOK! hahahahaha -