listening to: my own thoughts and nothing else.
*************

I have a confession. I'm terrified. As one of the largest, most important day in my life so far aproaches I grow more and more afraid. Anyone that knows me knows my mind works crazy overtime. But for some reason tonight it's on super overdrive.

I'm worried of how people look at me. How they will look at me. What if I let everyone who has supported up in this adventure down? What if I fail? What if I let God down?Will my neices still be proud of me? Will I ever be whole heartidly happy? Will Matt's spirit be there? If not... can I do this without him?

Great now I'm crying! See what thinking does to people? Right now I wish I were a total "airhead" and not have a thought at all. lol OOO WAIT! I take that back! Cause if I had no thoughts at all the I would probably have no concience and probably be with a boyfriend who didn't love me, drunk and pregnant.

Man I'm glad God loves me and gave me a brain! *dies laughing*

GO VOLS!
- Stacey Ree -

WOOHOO!!

listening to: "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" (the music bed loop I created for work) by: Starfield
**********
I'm better now! lol


see last blog... lol

A Melody Softly Soaring Through My Atmosphere....

listening to: "Don't You Fake It" (The full cd) by: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
***********

I don't know what the deal is today but for some reason I am missing Tennessee more than I have since I left. I hate being homesick. I have things to do here. But I really miss it.

I miss my grilled Chicken Sough Dough Jack with the larger thank I am drink from Jack in the box. I miss Chick-Fil-A. I miss inside jokes with Stephanie. Numerous trips to Taco Bell, Starbucks and Walmart. Sure all those are in Michigan. But it isn't the same. I miss going to the studio, The Global Cafe, Stephanie's basement Church with the Panera Bagels.

PANERA!!! Oh man I miss Steph's obsession with the bread! lol

I miss April being my stand in mom and always at the ready to take down Dylan for making me cry... AGAIN! As crazy as it may be... I miss crying cause Dylan was being a jerk and not standing up to John. Dylan didn't always make me cry... but I had my fair share of tears. I miss going over to his house cause I could. And knowing he would just sit and be with me when I had dried and come as close to rock bottom as I had in a long time.

I miss exchanging shy smiles and hellos with Shawn before I even knew his names. lol

Not Hot Thomas! Hot Gregory! OH MY SWEET COOKIES I MISS DROOLING OVER THEM FROM AFAR! *dies laughing*

The mall food court. "Let's go to the food court. Hey we could eat at the food court."

Making April feel hot. Shopping with Stephanie. April's love of sour patch kids! lol Body Central! Man I miss my store!

I miss the city. The Atmosphere. The food. The smells. My friends. I even miss losing sleep cause of random calls from family and friends back in Michigan forgetting that I was an hour behind, calling to tell me that it was snowing in Michigan even thought it was 3 am in Tennessee. lol

I am in desperate need of a trip home. Even if only for the weekend.
- Stacey -

blah blah blah yak yak yak

listening to: I don't have any clue. Some song 100.5 The River that I've never heard before. (They should be listening to WaYfm! tee hee)
*****************
Ok so yeah... 1 hour and counting... Then I get to go home to an empty house and eat alone. YIPPIE! I can't wait! I'm obviously totally kidding. Oh well. Such is life right? I mean I could be married right now and chasing my kids around an apartment in Michigan. Or engaged in Tennessee. But I chose a different life. I chose singledom. And I'm happy. See ---> :D lol

Yeah I'm in an "Odd-even-for-Stacey" mood right now. Well... Yeah I got nothing else to say so i best be getting back to... nothing... that I was doing before...

WAIT! EUREKA! THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE! Ok can someone tell me why The Chronicles of Narnia movies are being made out of order? It's not like technology is going to advance as much as it did with the Star Wars movies supposidly did... Well ok... Maybe it will... But yeah. CON-FUS-ING!

My head hurts!
- Stacey -

Randomness that is Stacey

listening to: "Near To You" by: A Fine Frenzy
*******************
Ok so I'm back in Michigan.. it snows... sadly. I had to get the frost off of my car today... guess how since my scrapper is gone... A CD CASE! *dies laughing* just thought you'd want to know. I found it quite amusing!

Anyway... I get a lot of my friends asking if I have heard about a band or what I like a the moment... so if you want to know what I happen to be listening to... HEAR ya go...

Check it out!

See ya later alligator... *drifts into a memory*
- Stacey Ree -

"Emo"

"Lose It" by: Cartel
***************************
"Drama doesn't follow me it rides on my back I may be ugly but they sure love to stare."

I never realized how true those lyrics were until just now. As the only "Emo" person in the room all eyes immediately go to me. Thick, Black eyeliner and dark hair covering my left eye. I am an outsider. But honestly I could care less. I like how I look. For the first time in my life I am truly comfortable with who I am. And it shows. I get a lot of compliments on it. So stare if you must. I am no different than you. I just dress differently. You only give people like me all the more reason to dress and act the way we do. lol

Chi-town

Listening to: "This Christmas" by: TobyMac
***********************************************
Well well well. I'm home. Chicago was amazing. I spent most of the time while in the city in awe. I really didn't say much as crazy as that is while in the city. We didn't get to see all we wanted to but we're planning on going back.

You can't really see a whole lot really in 2 days. But what we did see was great for a first time visit. I got a lot of great pictures. I'll try and post them soon. But as for right now... My legs hurt and I'm ready to crash. It was a lot to take it.

Oh and one of the best parts of this weekend... Vols won 59 to 7!!!!!!!! That's just insanity!!!!

Night y'all!!!
- Stacey -

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Listening to: "I Need You" by: Jamestown Theory (previously And Then I Turned Seven)
***********************************
Ok so I am SO frustrated right now. I stinkin' want to watch my show, Greek. I can't cause the season is over and the only way to watch it online is to purchase each episode from Itunes. Of course I can't do that. THIS STINKS!!!!!

I NEED MY CAPPIE FIX!

- needing some rusty/cappie time -

*gag*

Listening to: "Cry In My Heart" by: Starfield
****************************
I just ate my salad without any cheese....

Ok there is something VERY wrong with a salad that has NO cheese!

I had romaine lettuce (my favorite), Sesame Seeds & Raspberry Vinagerette (Also my favorite) Dressing

Just wanted to share in my frustration.


-k- bye...
-Stacey-

Here goes nothin...

listening to: "Cat And Mouse" by: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
***************************
I got a new layout! YIPPIE!!!! Took long enough! lol

Well as you can tell from the title of this entry I am about to embark on something MAJOR. In just over a week I am making the trip for the first time EVER to Chicago. I'm geeked. I'm nervous. I have never even seen the skyline so if you know of anything good to do there for the weekend PLEASE let me know.

Also. I have made a pact with 2 of my best friends. We have been having some difficulty with one specific issue. So we made a pact today that we will NOT give up hope and not let each other give up hope and give up on each other.

I LOVE YOU GIRLS! I'm so glad I have friends like you to hold me to this! Corey, Les... I have not forgoten about you two. You can hold me to it too if you want. I love you both! I miss you! I hope to see you soon!

- Stacey -

What Can I Say?

listening to: "Pretty, Handsom, Awkward" by: The Used
*********************************
I really don't have anything to say. I'm just wasting time... I live such an exciting life don't I? lol

Well I lied... here's something to say... I'm really mad at myself cause I went out to the barn the other day to find my winter jacket since ya know it gets cold in Michigan and all... NOPE! I think I left it in Tennessee! I'm smart!!!

*singing*

Yeah I seriously got nothing... Hey I need to know cooler template ideas for my blog. I'm kind of over this one and the blogger ones are old too. Anyone know of any good sites? Does anyone read this anyway... besides you, Corey. Put your hand down. lol

Spaz... Out...
- Stacey Ree -

WHAT THE????

Listening to: "Somewhere Only We Know" by: Keane
*********************************
Ok is it just me or are there movies and songs that you've NEVER heard and NEVER seen before that show up and grab your attention that explain your EXACT life at that EXACT moment??????

YEAH! I HATE THAT!!!!!!

- Stacey -

The search is over!!

listening to: "Darl'n" by: Between The Trees (thanks Sara!)
**********************************************
So I did it. I finally found Matt's grave. Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive of me with this issue over the years. Jennifer helped me find it. She even took time out of her schedule to go with me when I went to say goodbye. Only problem is that we didn't find it at the cemetary. Whoever thought up the idea to have flat gravestones so that you could mow OVER them and cover them up was obviously not thinking from my perspective.

But I got a hold of the Cemetery a few days later and they posted a flag to mark it for me. So Natalie went with me that day. I parked my car EXACTLY where I parked it when Jennifer and I went. Matt was directly to my left.

I was ok until I could actually read his name. Then I lost it. Nat was such a good friend for just letting me have my cry and say my goodbye 15 years late. We had to of been there for a half hour or so. I just sat there talking to him and brushing the grass from his headstone.

I made it. It just took me a while. I wish that I would been able to go to the funeral. But there had to be some reason I couldn't. I wish I would have been able to find his grave years ago. But having a best friend die at 12 was hard enough. I honestly don't think I would have been able to handle it the way that I had the other day.

God has a reason for everything. I found it. That's all I needed. God understands how much that means to me and know that I understand that Matt isn't really there... just his body is. I still have my moments. But dealing with this for as long as I have and on my own makes me know that I will ALWAYS have moments. I accept that. But I feel more at ease with myself and Matt's death now.

I wish you would have known him. You would have loved him. He was a great friend. He would have been happy to accept you as his friend. He would have been proud of who I am. He always knew that I was going to achieve my dream of working in the music industry. He knew I was going to move to Tennessee one day. He had faith. He gave me faith.

The anniversary of his death is next month. I can't believe it's been 15 years. I miss him. But I always will. He knows I'll be back. This time I'm going to take him flowers.

My Last Goodbye...

listening to: "Almost Lover" by: A Fine Frenzy
*************************
Today I spent celebrating my niece Emmalee's 5th birthday. But in all honesty. I spent the day hiding how I really felt. I was annoyed. Upset. Hurt. Lonely. Sad. Angry. Basically every bad emotion you could have all at once. But as the day went on my feelings subsided and i thought maybe it had passed.

The Vols played Cali. We lost. :( But we put up a good fight.

Then as I went to bed I got a phone call from my ex. He kept apologizing for the way he was while we were together. He kept telling me how much misses me and loves me. I just cried. I couldn't say it back. I don't love him and it hurts cause not many people truly care for him.

He asked me to marry him. like honestly asked me. I just cried and told him "no." I can't marry someone I don't love. I hate that I had to tell him all of this. But we broke up before I moved back to Michigan. I believe he is an alcoholic. He never admits it. But I know he is. I just can't believe that my first real proposal was on the phone with an ex boyfriend who I'm not in love with and is drunk and pouring his heart out as he tells me that he thinks someone is going to kill him in the next few weeks.

But the worst part is that I don't have the guts to tell him everything. Maybe it's better that I don't. He told me that the first 2 months after I moved he just sat and cried thinking I left because of him. I just feel so bad that he kept blaming himself for us not working out and knowing how much it hurt him to see me leave.

I have never been this happy!

listening to: "Misery Business" by: Paramore (that's ironic)
**************************************

Have you ever had one of those times when everything goes right? Well that's me. I'm having a lucky streak I guess. :) I've never felt so strong (psychologically) or beautiful. THIS IS AMAZING!

last weekend was awesome!!! If you ever have a chance to go to see Dave Matthews Band I HIGHLY demand that you do it! I spent time with old friends... met some new ones... re-met some people I have met before... watched 2 AMAZING dmb shows... camped out all weekend.... got sunburned... and had the time of my life! I was about to be all "thanks Matt and yes I had a good time! lol" and say hey to everyone I hung out with this weekend. But... they don't read this. hahahaha

I'll post pictures soon. Oh and as promised... this is my new hairstyle....


later y'all!
- Stacey Ree -

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???????

listening to: "The Space Between" by: Valencia
**************************

Have you ever been in a situation where you're just waiting for something to happen that you know is inevitable but afraid to just make it happen cause you're not sure of the outcome? Yeah! DRIVING ME NUTS! I'm about to make it happen just to get it over with so we all can get past it already!!!!

UGH!

I'm going to bed!
- Stacey -

I got nothing for a title sorry...

listening to: "Sunrise Goodbyes" by: Houston Calls
**************************

Well ok where do I start... I don't know what's going on in my life... Yep. That's where I'll start! This is the most chaotic my life has been in a long time. You know that saying "bad things happen in 3's? Well lets just say I've met my quota for the next 3 years.

Natalie's Grandpa died. Please keep her in your prayers. As well as the lady that flipped her car on the highway and was helped by some amazing friends of mine. While you're at it... keep those friends in your prayers too please. 3 out of the 5 of them ended up bleeding by the end of that same night with worry of a concussion.

And Natalie and I got into a bit of an accident that same night. We were on our way home from being the good friends we are and being there for those that needed us. The guy driving the other car fell asleep at the wheel and slammed into the back of us. We're both ok. Just a little shaken up. Basically it was a night for the books.

But I pray that it's all over now and things will only get better for all of us involved.

But mostly keep this one certain friend of ours in your prayers. He's the one who made the group pull over when the lady's car flipped and was the first one out to try and help her. He's also the one we were most worried had a concussion. Even before his incident you could tell he was really shaken up. Watching that Lady's car flip and seeing her in the state she was in really got to him. He's the one Nat and I are most concerned about.

WE LOVE YOU BUDDY! And just remember just like you told Nat and I... "Everything's going to be ok. It'll get better." and you're in our prayers. :)

- Stacey -

IS THAT STACEY?????

listening to: "Pin You Wings" by: Copeland
**************************

I have BLACK hair!!!

no not really dark brown!

It's black!

Ok so for the first time EVER my hair has been dyed. My sisters had this GREAT idea to dye all of our hair at the same time. Jennifer went Strawberryshortcake Red. Anisa went Hannah Montana Blonde. And me... Kate Beckinsale in Underworld Black.

Only it wasn't supposed to be like that. Anisa was going to go lighter... she got it. Jen wanted to get a little "funkier" as she put it and go red. She's now the cartoon version of Joss Stone and loves it. With me they wanted to bet the blonde streaks out since my hair had grown a considerable amount since I got them. We were trying to get my hair back to it original color... Now I look fake Goth. But it's cool. It's just hair. I don't totally hate it. When I put my hair up and pulled it away from the Black shirt I was wearing it didn't look that bad. It'll fade a little everyday... and my normal hair color is pretty dark so it won't be THAT big of a difference.... right????

Basically. I've just never really dyed my hair. I put highlights in it a few times. But never all my hair. I like my normal hair color. I never wanted to dye it. But here I am... a vampire... at least that was the comment... black hair... and I would say pale skin... which I have... but I'm VERY proud that this is the most tan I've been in my life.

Oh well. there's a first time for everything right? I'll post pics when I can.

Love y'all. Miss y'all.
- Stacey... So not Goth -

Need Help

Listening to: Downhere "A Better Way"
****************************
I saw a man today holding a sign. "Need Help" is what it read. I didn't stop. As I journey on with my day this man will be forgotten. But I don't want forget him. What kind of help did he need. Was he homeless? He looked as if he wasn't tired or cold. Did he need food? He looked fed. Was he just having car trouble? All these questions ran through my mind as I drove away. Boys Like Girls "Me You and My Medication" fills every crevasse of my car. "We're all addicted to something... Medicine make it ok." I don't have much to "help" this man. All I can give him is prayer.

- Stacey -

Neverending thoughts....

Listening to: the waves...
******************************
I spent the day at the beach today. It didn't feel right without you here. I wish you were here with me. I'm surrounded yet feel alone. Being here does nothing but make me think of you. Your laugh. Your smile. No one can make me smile like you can. No one ever could. I will don't have the answers I want to. I just wanted to say goodbye. UGH! Why can't I just enjoy the day. There's not many clouds. It's a beautiful day! Why can't I get you out of my mind? I miss you... wherever you are....

- Stacey -

Just me in all my utter randomness

Listening to: Cartel's cd "Chroma"
***************************************
Not much to report on. Just working and helping out with mom. Still no answers yet as to exactly what's wrong. But all in all things are going well. Sara probably has it the best right now and I couldn't be happier for her. She deserves to be as happy as she is. Unfortunalty her happiness doesn't come without it's headaches and confusion. But She's a strong girl. She'll make it through whatever gets thrown in her path. It's gotta be weird for her knowing that she will be heading off to college soon.

I remember what it was like for me. I couldn't wait to get out of that small town. And then after about 3 weeks of not knowing anyone withing an hour radius. I couldn't wait for a trip home. Luckily it passed. I think it made it easier to make the move to Nashville. Nashville just feels like home. I love that. Anyway... Moving on....

*stops and sings along to "Runaway"*

Oh Sorry... favorite song on the cd.

where was I?

Oh yeah! Moving on...

............. yeah I got nothin'.....


-k- bye
Stacey

So geeked!!!

listening to: nothing... I'm not at home. But I have "God Of Wonders" stuck in my head. Does that count?
*****************************
I HAVE COLOR! ok so it's red but it's better than nothing! Jen opened her pool and I have been in it twice now! I have washed and cleaned my car! What else... I don't know... I can't remember... But yeah... it's a great day!

News flash y'all!!!

A lot has been going on since my move. Mom's had numerous apointments. Seems like more are scheduled every day. She just had an MRI last night. *crosses fingers* But we hope to have answers soon. A big congrats to a few of my dear friends... one got a HUGE "promotion". Only a select few get the news she did.. just yesterday in fact. Two more are engaged! I am so excited for the both of you! And then there's a rumors of a record deal in the near future and a opportunity that is such a huge deal it deserves prayers and lots of them. Basically a friend will be meeting one of the biggest names in Hip Hop to discuss his music. I would be FREAKING OUT if I were to meet Aaron Sprinkle. Thinking I might mess up or make a fool of myself.

And one last congrats... and a plug... Call your local radio station (that plays at least some hip hop of course) and ask them to play "Woah" by: George Moss. You won't be sorry! My dear friend, George has created an amazing single (that I want as my ringtone) that will have you singing "Woah" in your sleep! Check it out at myspace.com/georgemoss

I'm Out...
- Stacey -

Not again!

listening to: "Broken Sky" by: Copper
************************************

Ok honestly! How many people do you know broke a toe in the shower??

*raises hand*

Yeah. I broke my toe this morning... while taking a shower!!

How the heck do you break your toe in the shower???????

I guess I couldn't be any more accident prone!!!!


OUCH!
-Stacey-

It Never Really Goes Away...

listening to: silence.
******************************************

Have you ever had quite the absolute best and worst day of your life all rolled up into one day?

Well all I have to say... is that feelings came rushing back like the damn in Kentucky that's about to burst and flood me out of Nashville... feelings I never wanted to return. Ones that I have kept burried and controlled since I was 14 years old. Here I am... almost 11 years later in just under a month... and they return.

Thank you to the people who cared enough to help me through it tonight without ever knowing it. To these people.. you are a God send and you should know it...

Dylan - you are my hero! I would be a mess without you tonight. :) I owe you more than you'll ever know.

Cheryl - thanks for the sweet words of confidence. :)

Pearson - thanks for talking to me. Just that thought was more than a blessing. I've missed our friendship emmensley. :)

Martha - thanks for listening when you didn't have to. :)

Kevin - for caring enough to just let me be and never havng to say a word. :)

Lu and the guys - you're always there when I need you. all I had to do was turn up the volume a little.

Steve - for just letting me vent when I needed to

and of course no list would be complete without...

Mom - Thank you for letting me cry. Telling me you have faith in me when I already knew it - I just needed to hear it. For never giving up on me. For bringing up Doris Day cause you know how much I adore her. For grabbing my hand when I was reaching for help. And for being awake and willing to listen to no mater what I had to say.

God - Thank you, Father. for being there when I need you most. For knowing what is on the inside trying to chew it's way out. For never giving up on me. For the miracles of the past. For saving my life. For the miracles yet to come. For never saying "you've had enough chances. haven't you learned yet?" For loving me... even when I feel as I do tonight.

"YOU are home to me..."

"Ever After You" by: Gabe Dixon Band
******************************

Ok so I am getting more and more anxious. I am going home for my birthday and I can't wait!!! This is going to be the BEST birthday EVER!

I will accept nothing less!

My track record hasn't been the best in the past and I am "breaking the spell"

I don't want any gifts for my birthday. I just want to spend it with my best friends and my family. And that my friends is EXACTLY what I am getting!

*stops and starts singing "Memory" by: Sugarcult*

Sorry about that. I just love that song. ANYWAY!... hmm... *taps fingers on desk*... yeah I got nothing I'm just SUPER geeked about seeing my way hot momma, my far more beautiful than I big sisters, my extremely beautiful neices, my super hot best friends... and... Corey... hahaha Sorry Corey all the rest are girls. hahaha

*winks and grrrs at Corey then dies laughing*

Love y'all! Miss y'all! See y'all soon!
- Stacey -

There's a first for everything...

listening to: "Goodbye My Lover" by: James Blunt
**********************
Guess what I did today. I got a massage. That's right! I had my first actual massage today. I know I've had back rubs but this was from a trained pro and it was FREE!! Work provided it. I felt so cool cause they were giving them free at work across the hall from my office in the break room and so the girls around me told me I needed one. So I did. And they were about to go on break so while the guy massaged my head and my hands the girl massaged my back.

TEE HEE!!! No one else got that treatment. It was great.

I have now officially come to terms with the fact that any man that gives me a hand massage is the man I'm going to marry!!!! That was the greatest part of it! I could have fallen asleep right there when he started doing that.

WAIT!!

I lied.

I have had a hand massage once before... and the guy was SUPER hot... but he is married now. We have moved on OBVIOUSLY. Oh well. I forgot how much I loved that... but yeah Mr. married DID put me to sleep. I remember that much!

and then we FROZE OUR BUTTS OFF!!!!

oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN 1 HR AND 10 MIN LESLIE AND ALYSE!!! LOVE YOU!!!

-k- bye
-Stacey Ree-

ho hum

Listening to "Broken Man" by: Boys Like Girls
*********************************
I really don't have anything to blog about. I'm just bored at work. Phones are dead. oh well.

oh hey! there IS something to talk about!

Yesterday was AJ's 21st birthday! Happy Birthday, AJ!

and today is Aaron's birthday! Happy Birthday, Aaron!

I went to Winter Jam with Stephanie and Brenda on Sunday... that was a hoot! Litterally! Well all but the part where we saw the smushed squirrel on the curb while FREEZING my little patootie off!!!

Then I had to work yesterday *smacks head into desk*

But then I got to see Hawk Nelson AGAIN today with my friend, Chris. She and I went to the taping of Hawk Nelson on GMC (Gospel Music Channel). Great show of course. And we sang Happy Birthday to Aaron.

I could have gone on stage since I had my Hawk Nelson Kazoo but I have stage frieght and there's no way you would have caught me up on that stage!

well i'm off to look at pics from today. -k- bye.

Oh and I met JD too. "IT'S JD!" tee hee *looks at Steph with an "inside joke" grin*

- Stacey -

oh what a day!

listening to: "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" by: Inked In Blood
*********************************
Ok so get this i had an AWFUL day today... all but two parts!

you ready for this?

good part #1

I got a birthday present today.

I know. I know. My birthday is in late April. Well Stephanie and Sarah gave me a super early birthday present this afternoon. We went to Build - A - Bear inside the Opry Mills mall and they... well.. built me a bear. He's a "lucky" bear of course. I mean it is me after all. and y'all know how obsessed I am with lucky stuff. They named him Clover St. Patrick. oh and he has 2 hearts inside of him. one from each of them. How cool is that? Oh no! that's not even the best part! No the best part is NOT that he's playing a guitar... it's that he Moos. Yep. My bear makes the noise of a cow. *dies laughing*

ok moving on...

good part #2...

ok so AFTER work. Steph, Sarah and I were sitting in the Garden Conservatory Cafe waiting for Jeremy. and some REALLY drunk guys came walking by. One guy was so drunk that he tripped over himself while he was picking something up. He took it over to Jeremy and goes "Give this to the lost and stolen." So we're like dying and he comes over to us. He goes "Are you laughing at me?" and grabs my Forever 21 bag. He started pulling it away from me. I was sitting down and he was pulling it so that my arm was behind me... yeah kind of hurt.

So walks away and is going through my bag. He grabs my scarf that my mom & sisters gave me for Christmas a few years back... ok... happens to be my favorite. I wear the thing all the time. He gives me back my bag and goes "this is my souvenir" he puts it around his neck and starts walking away. We're still laughing cause we think he's kidding.

NOPE!

HE STOLE MY SCARF!!!

I know, right! So how is this good? WWEELL... Steph and Sarah decide to go hunt the drunk jerk down cause I'm about to cry. Steph goes on the sky walk toward Cascades as Sarah takes the paths on the lower part of the Garden Conservatory. I stay sitting there.. alone...

Sarah comes back.... nothing...

Stephanie comes back... with my scarf!!!! I stinkin' love her!

But this is the best part!

We go "Where did you find him? Where is he?"

Her response. "He's passed out in front of the hotel."

ok so Sarah and I think he's passed out cause he's drunk!

WRONG AGAIN!

Ok so when Stephanie found the guy he was with his 7 or so friends. all late 20's early 30's and you could tell they worked out. She politely asked him for my scarf back. He told her no and that I had given it to him. She said that I hadn't and that she had seen the whole thing. He proceeded to tell her that she'd have to fight him for it and then he called her an Jacka** B****. So she punched him.. I mean the guy almost pulled my arm off... committed theft... AND slander!

The guy totally deserved it!

So punched him and knocked him out so that his friend had to catch him when he fell. His friends started cheering. She picked up my scarf that was hanging out of his pocket and started walking away. One of his friends was like "Why aren't you laughing? That was hilarious!" She turned back and goes "ha ha ha." all sarcastic and then walked away!!!

*DIES LAUGHING*

ok admit it! that guy had it coming and that is stinkin hilarious! I love her!

-Stacey-

...

listening to: "There's A Class For This" by: Cute Is What Ws Aim For
**********************
I miss Corey...



I miss Leslie...



I my mom & big sisters...



I miss my 3 beautiful neices...



I miss Natalie...



:*( THIS STINKS!!!

You're a marked Woman, Stace...

listening to: "What I've Done" by: Until June
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Alright it's official! I'm cut off! No more Until June for me!... ok after this time listening through the cd...

You better hold me to being cut off because when I'm sitting at work in between phone calls sobbing for no reason listening to this cd over and over... something has GOT to change.

No matter how many times you hear "It's ok. Everything will work out.", "I know how you feel", "You're beautiful, Stace. He's crazy not to see that." and my personal favorite... "Just give it time. It'll all work out in the end"... yeah... thanks for the support here... but it doesn't change the fact that it hurts.

day after day...

night after night...

after every phone call...

after every text message...

I still fee the same. This part of me doesn't heal like I'm told it's going to. Even the "just let it go. If you don't want to feel this way... don't"

HA!

Easy for you to say! You try feeling this way! It hurts! There's no if, ands -or- buts about it. It hurts. Case closed.

I feel... sick... unloved... ugly... depressed... used... unnoticed... betrayed... uneasy... marked... slandered... hated... need I say more? These feels don't just "go away". Honestly. Show me one person that has just "gotten over it" and I'll show you a liar.

There are only 3 people that I know who are feeling what I'm feeling... the world just doesn't understand... but know that I love you and I'm here for you.

- Stacey -