I was dreaming when I wrote this...

listening to: "1999" by: Prince
******************
"Some of the best things in life are worth waiting for." good quote but doesn't come close to "Sometimes what you're looking for comes to you when you least expect it."

It's true. It happened. After 4 dates Drew and I have "started dating" if that makes any sense. He's amazing. He treats me like "I'm supposed to be treated" and he makes me smile. He's a Christian. Now I'm just scared I'm gonna do something to make him run the other way. :*( That would stink really badly!!!!

The one thing that I know might get in me into trouble is that we're both stubborn. Like REALLY stubborn. But we're working on it. He's learning to allow me to do something on my own and I'm learning to allow him to do things for me. It's hard going from being independent and "the one in charge" in a relationship to being sumbissive. But he's worth it.

I know I know. We haven't been together very long at all but I can tell already that he's special. If he married someone else however long down the road I know she'd be extremely lucky and I'd be ok with that. Cause God would want him there. Now if that is me... and I'm not at all like "oh man I'm going to marry this man" or anything then I know that's where God wants us and I hope that I would be as happy as I am right now.

Now if only I could let go of this stubborness... it's a long shot isn't it? lol

- Stacey Ree -

Oh the thoughts of Stacey...

listening to: Thunder outside my bedroom window.
******************
You know in the movies and cartoons how you get a horse to move by dangling a carrot from a stick in front of it?

I'm the horse.

What I want is right there. But it's just out of me reach. So I walk in circles in hopes that maybe just maybe I will catch up to it.

Forget the piles of vegetables I trail by. I want that carrot. Anything else wouldn't taste nearly as good. And I refuse to settle for vegetables that aren't the... well.. "apple" (that IS how the saying goes) of my eye. That carrot WILL be mine one day.

Striving for the carrot
- Stacey -

The New WaYfm Morning Show - Day 1

listening to: "Far Away" by: Nickelback
*********************
Day 1 is done. Like every first there were some trip ups. But Mike & I survived. We did ok from the feedback we've gotten so far. I'm just tired is all.

I knew I shouldn't have stayed up so late. lol

But I finally watched 3 movies I've been wanting to watch for a while now. The Nanny Diaries, 300, & The Invisible.

The Nanny Dairies:
It was cute. I may own it one day. Still not sure. It wasn't as funny as I thought it was going to be. So that was a bit of a let down.

300:
Horrible. I didn't like anything about it. VERY disappointed!

The Invisible:
Great movie! FAR better than I expected! The end was a bit cheesy. But it happens. I WILL own it one day! I would have to say it would be one of my favorite movies! And there are NOT many of those around... COREY! lol

"live long and prosper"... that's Star Wars right?.....
- Stacey Ree -

listening to: my own thoughts and nothing else.
*************

I have a confession. I'm terrified. As one of the largest, most important day in my life so far aproaches I grow more and more afraid. Anyone that knows me knows my mind works crazy overtime. But for some reason tonight it's on super overdrive.

I'm worried of how people look at me. How they will look at me. What if I let everyone who has supported up in this adventure down? What if I fail? What if I let God down?Will my neices still be proud of me? Will I ever be whole heartidly happy? Will Matt's spirit be there? If not... can I do this without him?

Great now I'm crying! See what thinking does to people? Right now I wish I were a total "airhead" and not have a thought at all. lol OOO WAIT! I take that back! Cause if I had no thoughts at all the I would probably have no concience and probably be with a boyfriend who didn't love me, drunk and pregnant.

Man I'm glad God loves me and gave me a brain! *dies laughing*

GO VOLS!
- Stacey Ree -

WOOHOO!!

listening to: "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" (the music bed loop I created for work) by: Starfield
**********
I'm better now! lol


see last blog... lol

A Melody Softly Soaring Through My Atmosphere....

listening to: "Don't You Fake It" (The full cd) by: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
***********

I don't know what the deal is today but for some reason I am missing Tennessee more than I have since I left. I hate being homesick. I have things to do here. But I really miss it.

I miss my grilled Chicken Sough Dough Jack with the larger thank I am drink from Jack in the box. I miss Chick-Fil-A. I miss inside jokes with Stephanie. Numerous trips to Taco Bell, Starbucks and Walmart. Sure all those are in Michigan. But it isn't the same. I miss going to the studio, The Global Cafe, Stephanie's basement Church with the Panera Bagels.

PANERA!!! Oh man I miss Steph's obsession with the bread! lol

I miss April being my stand in mom and always at the ready to take down Dylan for making me cry... AGAIN! As crazy as it may be... I miss crying cause Dylan was being a jerk and not standing up to John. Dylan didn't always make me cry... but I had my fair share of tears. I miss going over to his house cause I could. And knowing he would just sit and be with me when I had dried and come as close to rock bottom as I had in a long time.

I miss exchanging shy smiles and hellos with Shawn before I even knew his names. lol

Not Hot Thomas! Hot Gregory! OH MY SWEET COOKIES I MISS DROOLING OVER THEM FROM AFAR! *dies laughing*

The mall food court. "Let's go to the food court. Hey we could eat at the food court."

Making April feel hot. Shopping with Stephanie. April's love of sour patch kids! lol Body Central! Man I miss my store!

I miss the city. The Atmosphere. The food. The smells. My friends. I even miss losing sleep cause of random calls from family and friends back in Michigan forgetting that I was an hour behind, calling to tell me that it was snowing in Michigan even thought it was 3 am in Tennessee. lol

I am in desperate need of a trip home. Even if only for the weekend.
- Stacey -

blah blah blah yak yak yak

listening to: I don't have any clue. Some song 100.5 The River that I've never heard before. (They should be listening to WaYfm! tee hee)
*****************
Ok so yeah... 1 hour and counting... Then I get to go home to an empty house and eat alone. YIPPIE! I can't wait! I'm obviously totally kidding. Oh well. Such is life right? I mean I could be married right now and chasing my kids around an apartment in Michigan. Or engaged in Tennessee. But I chose a different life. I chose singledom. And I'm happy. See ---> :D lol

Yeah I'm in an "Odd-even-for-Stacey" mood right now. Well... Yeah I got nothing else to say so i best be getting back to... nothing... that I was doing before...

WAIT! EUREKA! THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE! Ok can someone tell me why The Chronicles of Narnia movies are being made out of order? It's not like technology is going to advance as much as it did with the Star Wars movies supposidly did... Well ok... Maybe it will... But yeah. CON-FUS-ING!

My head hurts!
- Stacey -

Randomness that is Stacey

listening to: "Near To You" by: A Fine Frenzy
*******************
Ok so I'm back in Michigan.. it snows... sadly. I had to get the frost off of my car today... guess how since my scrapper is gone... A CD CASE! *dies laughing* just thought you'd want to know. I found it quite amusing!

Anyway... I get a lot of my friends asking if I have heard about a band or what I like a the moment... so if you want to know what I happen to be listening to... HEAR ya go...

Check it out!

See ya later alligator... *drifts into a memory*
- Stacey Ree -

"Emo"

"Lose It" by: Cartel
***************************
"Drama doesn't follow me it rides on my back I may be ugly but they sure love to stare."

I never realized how true those lyrics were until just now. As the only "Emo" person in the room all eyes immediately go to me. Thick, Black eyeliner and dark hair covering my left eye. I am an outsider. But honestly I could care less. I like how I look. For the first time in my life I am truly comfortable with who I am. And it shows. I get a lot of compliments on it. So stare if you must. I am no different than you. I just dress differently. You only give people like me all the more reason to dress and act the way we do. lol

Chi-town

Listening to: "This Christmas" by: TobyMac
***********************************************
Well well well. I'm home. Chicago was amazing. I spent most of the time while in the city in awe. I really didn't say much as crazy as that is while in the city. We didn't get to see all we wanted to but we're planning on going back.

You can't really see a whole lot really in 2 days. But what we did see was great for a first time visit. I got a lot of great pictures. I'll try and post them soon. But as for right now... My legs hurt and I'm ready to crash. It was a lot to take it.

Oh and one of the best parts of this weekend... Vols won 59 to 7!!!!!!!! That's just insanity!!!!

Night y'all!!!
- Stacey -

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Listening to: "I Need You" by: Jamestown Theory (previously And Then I Turned Seven)
***********************************
Ok so I am SO frustrated right now. I stinkin' want to watch my show, Greek. I can't cause the season is over and the only way to watch it online is to purchase each episode from Itunes. Of course I can't do that. THIS STINKS!!!!!

I NEED MY CAPPIE FIX!

- needing some rusty/cappie time -

*gag*

Listening to: "Cry In My Heart" by: Starfield
****************************
I just ate my salad without any cheese....

Ok there is something VERY wrong with a salad that has NO cheese!

I had romaine lettuce (my favorite), Sesame Seeds & Raspberry Vinagerette (Also my favorite) Dressing

Just wanted to share in my frustration.


-k- bye...
-Stacey-

Here goes nothin...

listening to: "Cat And Mouse" by: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
***************************
I got a new layout! YIPPIE!!!! Took long enough! lol

Well as you can tell from the title of this entry I am about to embark on something MAJOR. In just over a week I am making the trip for the first time EVER to Chicago. I'm geeked. I'm nervous. I have never even seen the skyline so if you know of anything good to do there for the weekend PLEASE let me know.

Also. I have made a pact with 2 of my best friends. We have been having some difficulty with one specific issue. So we made a pact today that we will NOT give up hope and not let each other give up hope and give up on each other.

I LOVE YOU GIRLS! I'm so glad I have friends like you to hold me to this! Corey, Les... I have not forgoten about you two. You can hold me to it too if you want. I love you both! I miss you! I hope to see you soon!

- Stacey -

What Can I Say?

listening to: "Pretty, Handsom, Awkward" by: The Used
*********************************
I really don't have anything to say. I'm just wasting time... I live such an exciting life don't I? lol

Well I lied... here's something to say... I'm really mad at myself cause I went out to the barn the other day to find my winter jacket since ya know it gets cold in Michigan and all... NOPE! I think I left it in Tennessee! I'm smart!!!

*singing*

Yeah I seriously got nothing... Hey I need to know cooler template ideas for my blog. I'm kind of over this one and the blogger ones are old too. Anyone know of any good sites? Does anyone read this anyway... besides you, Corey. Put your hand down. lol

Spaz... Out...
- Stacey Ree -

WHAT THE????

Listening to: "Somewhere Only We Know" by: Keane
*********************************
Ok is it just me or are there movies and songs that you've NEVER heard and NEVER seen before that show up and grab your attention that explain your EXACT life at that EXACT moment??????

YEAH! I HATE THAT!!!!!!

- Stacey -

The search is over!!

listening to: "Darl'n" by: Between The Trees (thanks Sara!)
**********************************************
So I did it. I finally found Matt's grave. Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive of me with this issue over the years. Jennifer helped me find it. She even took time out of her schedule to go with me when I went to say goodbye. Only problem is that we didn't find it at the cemetary. Whoever thought up the idea to have flat gravestones so that you could mow OVER them and cover them up was obviously not thinking from my perspective.

But I got a hold of the Cemetery a few days later and they posted a flag to mark it for me. So Natalie went with me that day. I parked my car EXACTLY where I parked it when Jennifer and I went. Matt was directly to my left.

I was ok until I could actually read his name. Then I lost it. Nat was such a good friend for just letting me have my cry and say my goodbye 15 years late. We had to of been there for a half hour or so. I just sat there talking to him and brushing the grass from his headstone.

I made it. It just took me a while. I wish that I would been able to go to the funeral. But there had to be some reason I couldn't. I wish I would have been able to find his grave years ago. But having a best friend die at 12 was hard enough. I honestly don't think I would have been able to handle it the way that I had the other day.

God has a reason for everything. I found it. That's all I needed. God understands how much that means to me and know that I understand that Matt isn't really there... just his body is. I still have my moments. But dealing with this for as long as I have and on my own makes me know that I will ALWAYS have moments. I accept that. But I feel more at ease with myself and Matt's death now.

I wish you would have known him. You would have loved him. He was a great friend. He would have been happy to accept you as his friend. He would have been proud of who I am. He always knew that I was going to achieve my dream of working in the music industry. He knew I was going to move to Tennessee one day. He had faith. He gave me faith.

The anniversary of his death is next month. I can't believe it's been 15 years. I miss him. But I always will. He knows I'll be back. This time I'm going to take him flowers.

My Last Goodbye...

listening to: "Almost Lover" by: A Fine Frenzy
*************************
Today I spent celebrating my niece Emmalee's 5th birthday. But in all honesty. I spent the day hiding how I really felt. I was annoyed. Upset. Hurt. Lonely. Sad. Angry. Basically every bad emotion you could have all at once. But as the day went on my feelings subsided and i thought maybe it had passed.

The Vols played Cali. We lost. :( But we put up a good fight.

Then as I went to bed I got a phone call from my ex. He kept apologizing for the way he was while we were together. He kept telling me how much misses me and loves me. I just cried. I couldn't say it back. I don't love him and it hurts cause not many people truly care for him.

He asked me to marry him. like honestly asked me. I just cried and told him "no." I can't marry someone I don't love. I hate that I had to tell him all of this. But we broke up before I moved back to Michigan. I believe he is an alcoholic. He never admits it. But I know he is. I just can't believe that my first real proposal was on the phone with an ex boyfriend who I'm not in love with and is drunk and pouring his heart out as he tells me that he thinks someone is going to kill him in the next few weeks.

But the worst part is that I don't have the guts to tell him everything. Maybe it's better that I don't. He told me that the first 2 months after I moved he just sat and cried thinking I left because of him. I just feel so bad that he kept blaming himself for us not working out and knowing how much it hurt him to see me leave.

I have never been this happy!

listening to: "Misery Business" by: Paramore (that's ironic)
**************************************

Have you ever had one of those times when everything goes right? Well that's me. I'm having a lucky streak I guess. :) I've never felt so strong (psychologically) or beautiful. THIS IS AMAZING!

last weekend was awesome!!! If you ever have a chance to go to see Dave Matthews Band I HIGHLY demand that you do it! I spent time with old friends... met some new ones... re-met some people I have met before... watched 2 AMAZING dmb shows... camped out all weekend.... got sunburned... and had the time of my life! I was about to be all "thanks Matt and yes I had a good time! lol" and say hey to everyone I hung out with this weekend. But... they don't read this. hahahaha

I'll post pictures soon. Oh and as promised... this is my new hairstyle....


later y'all!
- Stacey Ree -

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???????

listening to: "The Space Between" by: Valencia
**************************

Have you ever been in a situation where you're just waiting for something to happen that you know is inevitable but afraid to just make it happen cause you're not sure of the outcome? Yeah! DRIVING ME NUTS! I'm about to make it happen just to get it over with so we all can get past it already!!!!

UGH!

I'm going to bed!
- Stacey -

I got nothing for a title sorry...

listening to: "Sunrise Goodbyes" by: Houston Calls
**************************

Well ok where do I start... I don't know what's going on in my life... Yep. That's where I'll start! This is the most chaotic my life has been in a long time. You know that saying "bad things happen in 3's? Well lets just say I've met my quota for the next 3 years.

Natalie's Grandpa died. Please keep her in your prayers. As well as the lady that flipped her car on the highway and was helped by some amazing friends of mine. While you're at it... keep those friends in your prayers too please. 3 out of the 5 of them ended up bleeding by the end of that same night with worry of a concussion.

And Natalie and I got into a bit of an accident that same night. We were on our way home from being the good friends we are and being there for those that needed us. The guy driving the other car fell asleep at the wheel and slammed into the back of us. We're both ok. Just a little shaken up. Basically it was a night for the books.

But I pray that it's all over now and things will only get better for all of us involved.

But mostly keep this one certain friend of ours in your prayers. He's the one who made the group pull over when the lady's car flipped and was the first one out to try and help her. He's also the one we were most worried had a concussion. Even before his incident you could tell he was really shaken up. Watching that Lady's car flip and seeing her in the state she was in really got to him. He's the one Nat and I are most concerned about.

WE LOVE YOU BUDDY! And just remember just like you told Nat and I... "Everything's going to be ok. It'll get better." and you're in our prayers. :)

- Stacey -