Living the dream

Everyday you live your life loving someone. That one person that God has created just for you. Even if you’ve never met them. You spend your whole life praying that “this one is the one.” And when you find you that they aren’t your heart is shattered. It’s more often than not stated “I will never love again.” When in all actuality… you’re right. Because you will never mortally love anyone as much as you love that one person.

If everyone realized this… the world might be a far better place. I’m in the midst of watching a movie called “If Only.” It stars Jennifer Love Hewitt who I’m not that big fan of but the movie looked good. She gets into a car accident and dies. Her boyfriend, Ian, doesn’t realize how much he loves her until after she’s gone.

So often in our lives we feel this way. We find that “one” person and we act as if they’re just another stepping stone to the person we’re meant to spend the rest of our lives with. We don’t take the time to take notice of the gift that God has given us. We don’t take the chance at love. At what could be.

Fear over takes us. And consumes us like we’re drowning in our own thoughts. Afraid to take a risk and see where God leads us. I, myself am guilty of this. I fear the “what if” so much that I never just take the risk.

I don’t know God’s plan or why “he” keeps getting thrown in my path. All I know is that he does. It could be a relationship… friendship… colleagues…. Whatever it maybe God has something in mind for me. I’m so afraid. I don’t want to get my hopes up. I don’t want to take the “leap” and get my heart broken. But at the same time if I don’t… someone else might take the chance before me.

I just wish God would tell me what he wants from me. But I know he thinks that I need to discover the path on my own. I need to seek out the trail and rake away the leaves. I need to open my eyes and my heart to whatever it maybe. I’ve already found that he wants me to be in Christian music. I’m still learning if that’s staying in radio… working at a label…. Or working on the road. All I know is that this is where he wants me… and that it has lead me to meeting “him.”